Passive aggressive behavior pisses me off and the irony is not lost on me.

Recently, I found myself in a situation where I made a mistake. It doesn't matter how big or small the mistake was, it was a mistake. I hid the truth from someone to avoid a confrontation. Call it a lie, an omission of facts, whatever. It was a mistake. I still feel my reason behind hiding the truth is legitimate and doing what I did really had nothing to do with what I was hoping to accomplish or directly related anyway. Yes I am trying to reason my reason. Human nature. Alas, this person took it as a personal assault and felt I was out to get them, throw them under a bus, de-legitimize, or discredit them in some way. No. That is not what I was doing contrary to what they may think and no, it never happened this whole throw them under a bus, de-legitimize, or discredit them thing. 

The important thing here is I realized my error and apologized. Sincerely. I acknowledged what I did and how I realized it was wrong of me and said I was sorry. And I still mean it with sincerity. It was not my intention to hurt this person, ever. We shared many great times in and out of work over the past few years and I didn't want to lose that over a mistake. I hoped this person would come around and engage in adult conversation again soon to get us past this speed hump. 

I was and still am sincere in my apology. I know this person well enough though to expect it would be a while before we would speak again. Out of respect and loyalty to this person I gave them space and time to process their anger as any caring and loyal friend would do. I'm a firm believer of giving space to sort things out. It's how I'd want to be treated in this same situation. Imagine my surprise and how glad I was when this person liked a bunch of my posts a few days after the incident. They even sent me a nice "Happy 4th" text message to which I replied! I was hoping this was going to reopen dialogue. I was missing our friendship but still kept my distance out of respect. I didn't want to act as though nothing had happened or make them feel like I'm forcing myself back on them. For some reason though things turned south a day or two later. I am not even sure what happened or why. 

We were friends on Facebook and we have many friends and acquaintances in common. So I see it all. This person began posting quotes and memes about sneaky people, liars, shady folks, and even snakes in the grass. These were all of the things I was called specifically when the fight happened. This person was even making snide remarks on their own timeline in response to posts I made on my timeline like I was hiding some secret message that required a cryptic response. Look, I suspected these posts were passively aggressively focused on me and it wasn't coincidental. I'm pretty sure of my suspicion. Now I was siting here stupidly allowing this person to disrespect and insult me publicly on Facebook (albeit indirectly) thinking it was part of the anger purge. I remained quiet and didn't let it get to me and gave them the benefit of the doubt but I am now unfriended on Facebook! What the fuck kind of juvenile shit is that?

This isn't the first time this person stopped talking to me. This person stopped talking to me for six months or so over something that had absolutely zero to do with them and was a result of nothing I did at all. I'm not the only one that has been subject to this behavior. I can attest to that. This person is now likely talking about me behind my back as though I never mattered. Actually, I know this for a fact. I believe it's time someone speaks up and speaks out. I can't keep it zipped any longer. I did long enough out of respect but that shit is clean out the window now. 

But wait! After all this it hit me! While my mistake was the catalyst for this behavior this is not about me! Not about me at all!

This person has spent their entire life playing victim to their own circumstances. This story is no longer about how or why I hid the truth. This story shines a spotlight on how this person is unable to be a true friend through good and bad because they don't know true happiness. It's so sad. Conflict makes this person uncomfortable and wants nothing to do with it. Like it's a shameful act or something to deal with conflict. I know how to avoid conflict with me! Just throw me away and get a new friend or recycle an old one. Yep. I said it.

Show of hands, how many of you had serious fights with your friends over the years but work through it? You put it aside because the good times together outweigh the slights dealt each other over the years. You bond on common ground and you're heart breaks for them when they are going through tough times. I have life long friends I trust to forgive me for any transgression infinitely larger than the one I dealt this person. I love them and they love me. I am not saying there are unforgivable acts that can't be forgiven. I'm just saying we are all human and we all make mistakes. When you care enough about someone and the friendship you have, and you are a grown ass adult, you try to find an understanding instead of just kicking them to the curb with out the courtesy of a Fuck You.

Anywho, this story is about a person that claims loyalty to all friends but has no idea what true loyal friendship is. You don't publicly defame people you care about and are loyal to over a misunderstanding. You don't talk about them behind their back like they never matter to you. No, you just don't do that to people you care about. I didn't do it to you. 

Life is short and there is no time to waste on hateful, negative people. It's just a harsh reality y'all. Lesson learned.

It's a three ring circus and media focuses on the show in only one ring...

I have to admit, United Airlines is in the midst of massive negative publicity cycle (now exponential) after the most recent horror of a "customer service" issue this past Sunday evening. The media seems to be honing in on United Airlines as the only culpable party. More on that in a minute. Listen, I am in no way defending what happened. I am not supportive of how the events transpired. Just because they are legally or federally obligated to do what they did, I feel they could have done more to avoid injury to the doctor.

The facts of the events that I am aware: The flight was not over booked. Passengers were boarded and in their seats. The United Airlines flight 3411 was full with no open seats remaining. Four seats were needed in the last minutes to carry employees to their destination. Must-Ride employee passengers (I just learned about this) is a thing with all airlines and has to do with minimizing the number of passengers that must be inconvenienced, or rather re-accommodated - something to do with these folks having to get to Kentucky so they didn't have to cancel and entire flight displacing hundreds of flyers instead of just four. UAL asked for four volunteers offering $400 and a room for the night with a flight leaving first thing in the morning. No takers. UAL increased the offer to $800 and a room for the night with a flight out in the morning. No takers. The gate agent apparently did not have authorization to offer a higher reward. UAL used the computer to select four passengers to remove. They were going to be compensated with the $800 each, a room for the night, and a flight in the morning even though they did not volunteer since that was the going offer. Three of the four passengers selected by this random drawing decided to deplane when asked politely the first time by the flight crew. 

The one passenger that refused? Any of the federal laws that are going to be reviewed by FAA, DOT, or DOJ is not what I am going to focus on because I am not aware of those laws or rules or regulations or whatever. I don't work for an airliner or the government. It seems to be the consensus with most media sources (regardless of what side they are supporting) that United had the legal right to remove the passengers already seated. I'm more interested in who is responsible with the doctor's injuries. Media will have you believe it's all on United.  

Why the hec did this one passenger refuse to leave the plane when asked politely by United flight crew? He says he's a doctor and he has patients to see the next day. Well, my recall tells me United offered a flight so he'd make it home the next morning. What difference would it have made if he arrived that evening or in the morning? He was getting a good night sleep either way. Unless his patients have rare illnesses and he's the only doctor in the world that can treat them then, OK. Pick another passenger or something. Why re-accommodate this doctor passenger? Far fetched? Yes. Again, there may have been much more United could have done to avoid the doctor's physical removal but maybe there wasn't. I wasn't there to know for certain. Neither were most of you with your opinions of outrage of which you are all entitled.

Who is responsible for the doctor's injuries? It's reported he suffered a concussion, busted nose, two broken teeth and sinus injury that may require surgery, How did that happen? Well, when the doctor refused to get out of his seat an airport officer, not a United employee, had to forcibly yank him out of his seat. The force of the yank caused the doctor to fall forward and that fall forward - not push - is how the injury occurred. You see this in the videos plainly. Well, here's were you may decide you don't like me anymore because I feel the doctor, after refusing to leave his seat of his own volition, is partly responsible for his own injury. I do not know what the doctor's motivation was for NOT complying with a request to deplane by UAL and airport authorities. I don't believe the doctor intended to get his face bashed from his forward gravitational trajectory when yanked from his seat or even expected to suffer a concussion and broken teeth when he refused to leave the plane on his own. I don't know he man to know his motivation. But I bet you he saw an opportunity to turn an $800 award in to a multi-million dollar settlement. He just didn't gamble on needing surgery after all is said and done. 

As always,

M


http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/10/523275494/passenger-forcibly-removed-from-united-flight-prompting-outcry

http://time.com/4735340/must-ride-passengers-united-airlines/

https://thepilotwifelife.wordpress.com/2017/04/11/i-know-youre-mad-at-united-but-thoughts-from-a-pilot-wife-about-flight-3411/

http://viewfromthewing.boardingarea.com/2017/04/11/real-reason-man-dragged-off-united-flight-stop-happening/

    

I come in peace

Blogging or Facebooking is not a feigned attempt at hiding my true self from my friends and family. I'm not throwing my rants out for the world to read then ducking behind some imaginary wall to avoid the egg throwing. Yes, I was accused of this. I use blogging as an outlet like some use art, sex, or music. Blogging helps me sort my thoughts and put in order things I cannot find a rhyme or reason or simple understanding. Most times its just to rant. Yeah I am pretty opinionated and if you want to converse about my written opinions over a beer/wine/cheese fries, I'm happy to, just ask! My opinions are never meant to hurt anyone's feelings or be judgmental or insinuate stupidity or raise hackles in any way. Yes, I was accused of this, too. Honestly, if I am going to attack your intelligence I will tag you :) I don't make it a habit to verbalize my perspective to change the minds of those who's opinions differ. I do it to provide a different perspective and raise awareness that there is more than one point of view out there in the big blue world.

My opinions are based on my feelings, thoughts, and perceptions of the events that I witness taking place around me (on the TV, heard on the radio, or read somewhere along the way). Sometimes my reaction is immediate. Sometimes not. I have to add of course, I have a problem when I see others believing and using fallacy as fact. This will always compel me to try to set things right or educate the possibly misinformed. And, oh my, this is super fun for me when it's about the traditions and processes of our government!

What does Inauguration Day mean to me? You've heard it over and over. The presidential inauguration is about the peaceful exchange of power. Its about one president elected by the people in a democratic system handing the reigns over to the next president elected by a democratic system. It isn't about who is elected specifically because, face it, there will never be 100% of the people happy about who was elected to be president. Inauguration Day, the "installment under good omens," is unique to the United States of America in it's deep rooted traditions and ceremony. Anywho...

To me, Inauguration Day in the United States of America is about unity. About patriotism. About peace. The day is reserved for ALL citizens to come together and witness a peaceful transition of power. It's about honoring those who came before and those who will come after. I cannot express enough how awe-inspiring it is for me to witness this dignified exchange whether I voted for the new president being sworn in or not. Someday I will make that trip to our nations capital on Inauguration Day to see this transition with my own eyes.

It didn't sit well with me we had 67 democratic members of Congress choose this day to sit out such an important ceremony. This group decided to override the sentiment and meaning of inauguration in favor of their personal feelings for the person being sworn in. The example set by this group, I fear, will hold those like minded to continue a negative campaign in an attempt to override our President's message of unity and patriotism. It will cause the valley of divisiveness to continue to widen with the rough river waters teeming with disdain, contempt, and derision. As far as the protests go, let them. As long as it's peaceful. When protests turn violent the messages changes though. Observers no longer see a group peacefully assembling to protest a single sentiment when the group turns violent or destructive. The violence removes the sentiment and twists it to a personal agenda, one designed solely for 15 minutes of fame, taking away the voice of the whole group. The focus then becomes on the violence and destruction and no longer the message. And to repeat a friend's point - Protesting is legal and a right. Rioting is not legal and not a right.

More side bar...Hoping for our President to fail is like hoping the United States of America fails. No American wants to see our nation fail. So just STAHP already!

I voted for President Trump as you all know. I voted for him because I believe he will make the changes he promises and if he screws up, I will sorrowfully admit I was wrong about him.

Now, the big question I leave for you...

If President Trump doesn't screw up, will you admit you were wrong about him?

Goodness, me. I thought I was watching an entertainment awards ceremony...

I saw my first Meryl Streep movie in the late of night on HBO when I was supposed to be sleeping in '83ish. Sophie's Choice helped me understand what survivor's of the Holocaust endured - the horrors of a world and time I would never know. I think I had just read the Diary of Anne Frank in school and the movie helped me bring it all together-love triangle aside. I was still a bit young to understand the implications of how mental health wrecks havoc on relationships. I have always enjoyed her roles. Even the silly ones like Death Becomes Her and She Devil. She was the star of Into the Woods by far and omg The Devil Wears Prada? One of the best!

The downhill slide of shit talk started when she opened her mouth of course but mainly began when she started naming all the foreign actors. Those whom are not really foreign but maybe born in foreign lands, like South Carolina, Rhode Island, and Brooklyn (that one I get) and then changed direction and said, "If you kick 'em all out, you'll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts." That was when I audibly groaned and said, "Way to politicize a friggin' awards show." Dislike with both thumbs down.

I knew what she meant with that "kick 'em all out" comment too. You do as well so don't play dumb or uninformed. By the way, what the hec is wrong with football and mixed martial arts anyway? Both are arts in their own right. I weep, and get angry, and laugh with delight when I watch football. Football requires hours of training and practice. Wait, doesn't acting, too? Mixed martial arts is martial arts - it's fascinating all that fluid movement of the body which takes hours of practice and training. You see where I am going with this right? Anyway, I was riveted by her speech now but not in a good way. It was a train getting ready to derail and I could see it begin to happen. Then it happened. And I kept watching as the train derailed and box cars began flying all over the tracks this way and that with no real direction. All that carnage and horribly twisted metal...yeah, just like her words. 

"Disrespect invites disrespect. Violence incites violence. When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose." - Uh, aren't you basically using your 3 seconds of live TV feed to do the same thing, lady? You are essentially using your powerful and well known station in the entertainment industry to bully the rest of us, low folks and all. And you called on others like minded to help! Yeah, you are absolutely right disrespect invites disrespect. You obviously have no respect for your audience and the people who chose to honor your work and lifetime achievements on and off the screen by running nonsense at the mouth. I do not care about your opinions. And c'mon. To use a politicized story about disrespect of a disabled person but use NO example of violence just means you are delusional about the events of this world. You know, the third rock from the sun where tacos come from. We are not on Jupiter. And for the love of Pete, doesn't part of being an entertainer mean you have to know your audience? 

And she continues...

"This brings me to the press. We need the principled press to hold power to account, to call them on the carpet for every outrage. That's why our founders enshrined the press and its freedoms in our constitution. So I only ask the famously well-heeled Hollywood Foreign Press and all of us in our community to join me in supporting the committee to protect journalists. Because we're going to need them going forward." - Gah! I agree with this sentiment in part, that yes, our press needs to be protected and to continue to be used as a tool of protected freedom. I however do not agree, as she ends this thought with, "And they'll need us to safeguard the truth." Assuming the "us" refers to the others in the show-biz community since she spelled it out two sentences previously, uh, no. Why do we want a bunch of Hollywood types dictating what is safeguarded or not safeguarded? Our journalists today need to take a good hard look in the mirror and decide why they are journalists. Is it to perpetuate the fake news and continue running the pure garbage they spew or is it inform the public of the realities of what is truly happening around the world? Because I do not trust main stream media to report the truth of anything anymore. And as if it is solely up to Hollywood Elite and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association alone to safeguard the TRUTH? My ass. Our journalists are no longer a respected source of information for any reason and nor is HFPA a respected source of news you dolt. The agendas set forth by HFPA are not the views of the world entirely. Get your shit together woman. Yeah, yeah...freedom of speech and all that. She has every right to speak her mind and she got her chance and all she did was vomit vile self righteous slime all over the audience, in house and at home. 

So Meryl, and the rest of you entertainers out there that follow her like lemming to a cliff, I do not give one iota of a F**K for your politics or feelings about what you think is truth in the world. You will NOT bully me in to believing your politics are superior to mine when it comes to how I live my life and what my beliefs and needs are. You have no idea what it is like living in middle-America. You have not nor will you ever walk in my shoes or shoes worn like mine. Not even in cinema, sister. Your self proclaimed responsibility and privilege of the act of empathy? Shut your pie-hole, all of you in Hollywood, and stick to your craft and entertain us. That is what you are being paid to do. Respect.