Are people really that rude? I need a rant...

I have people in my life that are cherished, valued, and loved. I would do anything for these people. Cook favorite meals, bake favorite desserts, cover their asses, provide shelter, give comfort, bail them out, love with all my heart....I care about each of my loved ones equally yet differently. I care about what they do, think, and feel. Wondering about why they do the things they do is all part of trying to understand what makes them tick. It's an opportunity to learn about what makes them happy so I can bring a little joy to their life.

Now, I'm not much to complain about or even judge the actions and attitudes of others not in my immediate circle. Acquaintances, colleagues, and coworkers come and go. Why they do the things they do don't matter to me. Why should it? Negative and bad attitudes. Poor hygiene. Nasty countenance. I'm happy whether that person exists or not and their actions, moods, and demeanor have no impact on my life. So I ignore it. Mostly. There are people out there that insist on being so rude they must drag everyone along in their misery. The one type of person in this world I detest is the coworker that insists on coming to the office with a cold. I know, detest is such a harsh word. Let me rephrase that to dislike. Extreme dislike. Anyway, it's one thing to come in, do what you need to do, and leave quickly. Or even hide in an office. It's something rude all together to come to work obviously contagious and suck snot, sneeze, and cough all over the general population of healthy coworkers. What's even ruder? This person has the capability to work from home. Why the eff did this person bring that shit to the office? Why? Really?!

So here I am all of a sudden feeling run down. My ears are clogged, my eyes are bleary, and my sinuses are a wreck. Jeez, I think my glands are swollen too. Ok, ok. It may just be psychosomatic. But every time one of these rude coworkers decide it's a good idea to bring their diseased body to work I stress. I stress over how long it will take for me to start feeling the sickness because I am most certainly sure I got the bug. I rarely, if ever, get sick. I haven't been sick-sick in years. Why am I telling y'all this? I'm telling you this because when I get sick I'm down for days. I am sicker than a dog when I get sick. When I catch a cold it is not merely a cold. It's the precursor to acute bronchitis which morphs into a chronic condition. One time I was sick for three months straight. If it happens now, I know who to blame. 

Sweet serendipity has a premium cost...

Annie is my problem child. She doesn't chew through walls or eat furniture or anything like that. She's very mellow and sweet. She is a problem child in the sense that she requires regular urgent trips to the veterinarian. Annie has been a patient of one the kindest, gentlest veterinarians since I picked her up from the rescue three years ago. He's great with her and gets her because he has a fur-baby just like her.

You see, Annie is allergic to everything. EVERYTHING. Grass, weeds, pollen, dirt, beef, carrots, tomato, yeast, and a million other things. Poor girl is chronic. She stinks like a yeast ball and I love her regardless. So I was getting ready to do a ritual ear cleaning last night and something didn't feel right. There was a bubble in her ear flap. It was weird. I suspected it was a hematoma since she had one before I got her but didn't want to take the chance it was an allergic reaction to God knows what and it was still there this morning. I was going to take her to her beloved doctor but every time I take her in it costs me no less than $300 and something like this happens every two or three months. Hey, I'm trying to save my pennies for Christmas by this time of year and didn't want to spend money on a trip to the vet for something I was 90% sure about. So, I got a referral from a dear friend for the veterinarian he uses this side of I95, made a call, and headed over. Boy was that the best call ever. The veterinarian was delightful, the office was beautiful, the staff was so darn friendly....I love the place! And the best part? I got out of there under $60!!! Score!

I felt like I just discovered a new wonder of the world. I was giddy. Annie and I skip-walked back to the car parked on the other side of the block (I love living in the city) and piled in for the short ride home. I traveled a portion of Federal Highway I don't normally travel and was not paying attention to my speed. All of a sudden there is a dude standing in the middle of the street and as I slowed down and got closer see its one of Ft. Lauderdale's finest. Dammit. But what the hec was he doing standing in the middle of the road? Oooohhhhhh...motorcycle cop. He was waving me down to pull over. So I did a quick check of traffic to see if I was going to hit someone and changed lanes but passed the mark and street he wanted me to pull on to. Oops. That pissed him off. I turned on my hazard lights and pulled on to the next street. And waited. After a very healthy ass chewing - that I managed to sit through with out arguing, poker face and all-I was handed a ticket. In the end, the money I saved at the vet I threw away on Federal Highway. Fail!

Go figure.

The wall has been breached....

I am a Gemini woman.

The astrologists all say there are two women in me. Characteristically versatile in attitude and conversation a Gemini woman can be proper and well spoken one moment then wildly unpredictable and sarcastic the next. I am not sure about that because the characteristics I exhibit are likened to other signs on the zodiac. We all have moods. There isn't anything unique to changing my mind in the blink of an eye. Others do that too. This is not a trait reserved for the Gemini. I'm a bit disturbed by the proper and well spoken thing but I'll go with it.

The experts say I'm chatty. Here's the thing. I like to talk, sure, but I only want to talk when I have something to talk about. Otherwise I'm an observer. I like to watch and listen to others engage in conversation and don't feel the least bit left out. I absorb the information I hear and engage myself by asking questions to gather data. I don't usually form an opinion right away. Nor do I debate. I actively listen until I'm bored then my mind moves on to other topics. That's kinda rude I know but its what I do. For the people who like to hash and rehash the same thing over and over...it bores me. I need stimulation!

This may come as a shock to some of you, I'm also quite shy. I do not like to be put in the spot light. I don't care to be called out, or on. If you want me to engage in your conversation that I am happily observing you will need to invite me in directly and pointedly. I'm also more comfortable in small groups. I'm great on a double date, a small family gathering, or out with my best girls. Add too many people and I'm overwhelmed. I clam up and try to blend in with the surroundings to avoid direct contact.

The most accurate characteristic that is me to a tee is the Gemini woman in love. A Gemini woman will keep searching for the perfect man, a man perfect for her even if she is otherwise occupied with another. We test the waters too often and rarely dive in. We do fall in love frequently but rarely is it true, real lasting love. We are incredibly romantic and have very romantic old fashioned ideals of love. I require a great deal of affection and I have a desperate need to give it.

The right man will stimulate me with witty conversation and a romantic heart. He will spoil me with attention, affection, and love. He will match my effort. He will sweep me off my feet with his wit and humor. He will be able to awaken the the deepest most hidden love in my heart and will prove worthy to receive it. He will be the one man that can move past the walls I use to guard my heart. I thought I found this dude a few times over. There was always a catch. I always suspected, expected, and experienced the temporary nature of my heart...that is until now.

Y'all? I found him. I found my perfect match. Or he found me. I'm not sure. He claims he was minding his own business and I used Jedi mind tricks on him. I was not expecting anything other than fun and occasional company from this fella. The next thing I know its somewhere around 9 or 10 months later and I'm consumed. And it's not the type of all consuming that makes me want to be in his presence every waking moment like a level five stalker. Its not the Rose and Charlie thing. That type of consumed never lasts. No trips to Paris anytime soon though. In truth, I find I need room to grow in love and I get plenty of room. Its like he knew this and understood. I didn't have to explain it, he just got it. I fall in love with this man more and more as each day passes. Damn man. I want nothing more than to be with this man the rest of my life. Where the hec did that come from? Oh, and Sugar? We haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg yet.

Please stop checking your pulse. LOL! But you know, you ain't goin' nowhere.

Do not go in there! Whoo!

A good friend of mine posted a question on Facebook the other day that made my nose crinkle.

"What is the harm with going to the bathroom and taking a dump while your mate is in the shower?"

Crass? Yes. Gross? Hell yes. It's one thing to be on the other side of the door when your other half is doing "business" but to be in the bathroom while shit is going down? Pun intended. I don't wish to delve into the realm of my bathroom habits. This is not something I like to give details about but I do have to explain something I learned about my self over the years. It all goes back to the lady's method of potty training. To go off topic a second, Freud believes we are all ruined by our mothers by the age of four. That being said I was potty trained at a very early and sorta unnatural age. I was nine months old when the lady found out another baby was on the way. At one year of age the lady decided it was a good time to potty train me. There was no such thing as disposable diapers when I was a baby and she was not going to change the messy diapers on two babies at the same time.

How do you suppose she trained me to go in a toilet? The lady placed my potty chair in the middle of the house. This position allowed her to see me on the potty from any room at any time. Over the course of a few weeks I was made to run the house naked from the waist down except for socks. No diapers, undies, pants - nothing but bare ass. But I had to wear socks on my feet. What the hec was that about? Hmmm...this may be why I can't stand my feet confined in shoes or socks. Anywho, I digress. I would be allowed to run free through the house sans pants for a short while only to be forced to sit on the potty until I "went." I could not get up until I did something in that darned potty. When I finally did something I was once again allowed to run the house butt ass naked for a short time before I was made to return to my seat.

As I grew older my bathroom habits became more modest. I think after a poop mishap at the age of six involving my brother's desperation for a toilet, which had to be the one I was using (with three other bathrooms in the house), made me realize I didn't like company while I was using the toilet. Nope. I do not. So to this day I don't care if anyone wants to be in the bathroom with me while I brush my teeth, fix my hair, paint my face, shower, or the other dozen things I do in the bathroom. The only time I DO NOT want anyone in the bathroom with me is while I have a bare bottom on the porcelain. Respect the message of the door. A cracked door means you can come in. The message of a shut bathroom door means I'm occupied. Don't even talk to me through the door. Unless you are bleeding or the house is on fire, do not disturb. I think the lady's insistence I do my business in the middle of the house with all eyes on me has ruined me. To this day I am not able to potty unless I have a potty behind a closed door. I cannot camp because I cannot squat to pee, let alone number two. OMG all that openness! And all eyes on my performance! I can't even bring myself to tinkle in the ocean. It's that bad. The lady has done a fine job screwing me up about my bathroom habits. The lady ruined me by the age of one. Go mom!

To answer my friend's question...the harm is removing all privacy from a relationship. When you are entangled in your other half's life so much you can't even poop without their company - or you have to be in the same space when they are pooping - something is wrong. Convenience or not, there is surely a guest bath available and please respect the message of the door. We should all be allowed some privacy. So you know, I will not hesitate to giggle at the butt trumpet! Cracks me up every time I hear it played.

Hooked on a feeling...that tonight's gonna be a good night...

I left work and ran home to feed and walk my furbabies. I just love how excited they are to see me after I've been gone all day. Well, Annie is excited to see me because I've been gone for an equivalent of three days in dog time. Sunshine is happy to see me because it means she gets to eat finally after starving the equivalent of three days in dog time. She can hardly contain the exasperation and contempt of my trying to say hello with affection. Like a teenager, she rolls her eyes and whines "Mooooommmmm! I'm Huuuuuunnnnnggggrrryyyy!" At least Annie lets me say hello to her before running for her food dish. The haste of getting home and taking care of the girls was due to a sudden urge to shop. I had a desperate need to go to Bath and Body Works. I dunno, I ran out of my regular shower gel and I needed a new poof. Fifty bucks later I was spent.

Since I've been craving chocolate cake I stopped at Publix before coming home. Publix bakery usually has a variety of cake slices out.  I needed laundry detergent and toilet paper too so figured I'd knock it out after a little fun retail therapy. After leaving the "mall," if you want to call it that, I swung around to the Publix right next door. This is not my normal Publix. The last time I was in this location I almost lost my brand new cell phone in the liquor store and Huck lost track of me and couldn't understand why I wasn't responding. Ok...so I walk right to the bakery to locate the coveted slice of chocolate cake. There wasn't a single slice on the table. Not a single slice of cake. There were cookies and pastries other sweets but not the damn chocolate cake! What do I do? I leave the buggy in the middle of the aisle and high tail it out. Shoot. I'm no dummy...I'm  heading to the Publix location I normally shop.

The parking lot at my local Publix is hairy. There are people pulling in and backing out and not paying attention to their surroundings. I fear for my safety every time! Anywho I park and walk in, grab a buggy, and head straight for the bakery. There is a table loaded with slices of cake. Red Velvet, Carrot, butter-cream frosted vanilla, Dennis the Menace cake...but no effing chocolate fudge! WTF?! Oh! Brilliant thought! Maybe they have one of those fancy cupcakes! I walk to the counter and look at the offering and I am not pleased. I don't want the whole cake-just one effing slice! The bakery lady sees I'm in distress and comes over to help. I immediately go into my rant of looking forward to a slice of chocolate cake, all I wanted was a slice of chocolate cake. There are no slices on the table and what are my chances of getting just a slice of chocolate cake? She asked me what kind of icing and I tell her fudge. This sweet lady then asks me to step in and take a peek. There were shelves of cake slices in the back freezer! She pointed to the chocolate fudge slices and said, "take your pick sweetie." Music to my ears! I got chocolate cake!!! Score!

Here's an observation. I like ice cream. That isn't the observation. The way I like to eat my ice cream is when it's soft and a little melty is the observation. I think this is why I like Dairy Queen so much. I love soft serve ice cream because it is the perfect texture for me immediately. I buy ice cream at Publix and it's hard in the container. I don't pull the ice cream container out of the freezer when I want it. I pull it out of the freezer 20 minutes before. Why? So it's melty. And don't you dare judge me for eating ice cream out of the container! It's the only way to do it! This way the melty ice cream is on the edges and I can scoop it starting on the outside and moving in as it melts more to the center. I know. It's kind of weird. Never said I was normal. The funny thing is Huck likes his ice cream kinda melty too. And he likes Dairy Queen! I have no idea why I'm so tickled by that but it makes me smile!

Aaaaaannnnddd I'm outtie! G'night!

Like a girl.

Bugs don't bother me. Well, let's clarify. It doesn't bother me to see a bug. I grab the Raid and let it do the dirty work for me. But if said bug is skittering my way quickly I am a bit bothered by that. I have two dogs with food containers and treat jars. I have a garage. The property behind the townhouse I live in is swampy and we've had a lot of rain. Though I clean my place on a regular basis I see an occasional bug. Ok, roach. As I normally am this time of the evening, I'm parked on the couch. I moved one of the large accent pillows to prop a leg up and saw movement in my peripheral. Gah! Darn roach is running towards me! So what do I do? I throw the pillow towards the TV, get tangled up in my squishy blanket while I try to shove the coffee table back violently, try to stand up, knock over my full Tervis of water, and...squealed like a girl while jumping up and down in one place like a lunatic.  This all happened in about three seconds before I finally managed to gather my senses and wits. Go get the Raid dip shit! I chased the freakin' thing across the den, under the desk, and up the wall with deadly nerve spray. It's upside down now and legs are twitching. All the while the dogs are looking at me like I've lost my mind. I need to flush it before one of the girls tries to eat it. Yeah, that's happened too. 

I wonder something. Why do banks bother offering apps for smartphones if components of the app don't work? I use my bank app for three things; check my balance, transfer funds, and pay bills. My bank finally added the mobile deposit function. Being able to deposit a check with a simple picture is the greatest thing!  I tried the mobile deposit function today and received error messages. The picture wasn't clear or the numbers didn't match then I finally exceeded my allotment of mobile deposit attempts. What a pain in the butt. I thought mobile banking was supposed to make banking more convenient? 

Late night TV has changed. In the background there is a show on called Way Out West. It's about two families with adjoining properties  working together to keep their ranches running. How is it the Hatfield and McCoy families get to make a TV show about nothing? Are there really that many people out there that want to know about a ranching family helping another ranching family cut trees along the adjoining property lines? I have to admit the side story about the girlfriend of one hillbilly trying to break a wild horse is pretty amazing. I realize the horse has been worked with for days and possibly weeks before she actually saddles him the first time but it's still amazing. Especially when the guy trying to break the horse was almost thrown the "day" before. 

I still haven't gotten my chocolate cake. Had to make do with a couple Hershey macadamia kisses. These little gems are part of the mind losing stint at the Hershey store in Chicago the weekend before last. That really was a fun trip but I am glad to be back in the swing of things at home. Though I love traveling and experiencing new places afar I really enjoy weekends at home spending time with my Huck, too. Nothing like a stay-cation with the most incredible man in the history of ever!

Oh! Pawn Stars is on! Chum is such a dumbass. 

Night y'all! 

Mr. Sandman bring me a...slice of chocolate cake

It's funny how a person becomes invested in fictional characters and speak about them like family. I'm not ashamed to say I am guilty of this. I become so invested. I've watched many shows from the very first season and some I picked up along the way by happenstance or recommendation. I will tell you I am not above gorging on three seasons in one weekend. I did that in October last year with Game of Thrones. I did it a few months before with Downton Abbey. And before that I did it with True Blood. I've become engrossed in another show though I didn't spend a weekend in yoga pants and dirty ponytail hair to be brought up to speed. I watched the first couple episodes of the first season and felt pretty confident I learned enough to pick it up in season three. Suits. Every character on that show is a legit bad-ass in their own right. Maybe after the season ends, in two more episode (sob), I'll go back and watch what I missed because who doesn't want to see someone get Litt up?

I've been participating in a Facebook sweep of sorts. A friend of mine invited others to name 3 positive things about their day for 7 days. I completed day three today. I've come to realize today that my positives aren't just single things I encountered but more a realization of the positives in my life. For instance, today I realized how blessed I truly am. My life could be so much worse. I've done my best in the past few years to think positive and live positive. So when something comes along to stress me out or bring me down there is an immediate and very significant shift that allows me to receive the blessing in the message. Its amazing! Life brings us gifts everyday. I learned I have to be willing to receive those gifts in order to realize them. Stop sweating the small stuff and focus on what matters. To me, what matters is the well being of my loved ones. All I want is for everyone important in my life to be happy. Since only they can bring their own happiness its up to me to help them realize it if that makes sense.

Tonight's minutiae of my life is going to be short. To try something different I brought my handy little Chromebook to bed with me so I could write while relaxing instead of listen to the blare of the TV. Little did I know this decision was going to make me so relaxed I'd fall asleep mid stream. Though I've perked up for the moment I can feel my eyelids getting heavier by the second. 

Alright, I give in to the sandman. Huck is waiting for me in my dreams ;) Night y'all!