I left work early today in haste. It wasn't because I had an emergency or just over working. I didn't have an appointment or need to run an urgent errand. I left in haste because I think I'm coming down with a cold. I have the tell-tale symptoms of body aches (though mild now and my be due to the diagnosed diagnosis of Fibromyalgia), I have the post-nasal sore throat, I had the chills earlier then got hot, and just feel like caca overall. I got the bleary hot eyes last night and began to sneeze this morning. So I sped home to begin dosing on some homemade turkey soup and Zycam. It's actually no wonder I may be coming down with something with all the recent stress I've experienced. It could also be the fault of my boss-man walking around the office with the coughs and sniffles. He did a great job hiding out but those little bugs always find a way to infiltrate the strongest of immune systems.
Where do I start? I know, how about I tell you how my son decided to run away to Mexico? I'm not kidding. In years past I used to always joke I was running away to Mexico when I was overwhelmed and frustrated. I used to kid when something went wrong, "That's it! I'm running away to Mexico!" Well my kid decided he was doing the same for real. After a couple of poorly made decisions the past couple of months he finally came clean and told his father and I about his plans to find his own way in his life. The day before he was due to leave. Yeah. I wasn't too happy to hear his plans needless to say. I understand why he feels he needs to do this. Long story short, my son, my only son, my only child, will be crossing the Mexican border in the morning.
He's traveling with a family that he's known for half his life. They are good people and I have to trust they will look out for him as one of their own. He's going to work there for the family he is traveling with so he will be occupied and not truly vacationing. Shit, the kid doesn't speak Spanish so he will not likely be running the streets alone. Oh, God please don't let him get that wild hair up his ass. I'm still freaked out and worried about his stay there. He does plan to return home after a month or two but while he is there I'm going to be a wreck. My son is a young handsome white American man. American being the operative word. I have heard the stories of kidnappings and whatnot that it makes me freak even more. OMG this means I'll be sleeping with Prince Xanax more often than not. Especially when I don't hear from him and if you are reading this Punk, I BETTER HEAR FROM YOU FREQUENTLY!!!
I don't know how many parents have been in this situation. Your kids are grown and making life choices with out you. They may be making good ones. They maybe making not so good ones. How do you get through feeling the decisions they make are going to end catastrophically wrong? How do you find peace with the choices they make and not consider your input or concerns? How do you let your babies go into the world with out you holding their hand to guide them down the right path? How?! Tell me, please!?! Those of you out there with young ones...yes, this is what you have to look forward to. Your sweet babies will one day decide it's a great idea to run off to Mexico no matter how much you beg them not to go.
In order for me to keep calm I have instituted the "Don't Tell Me Your Negative Thoughts" rule starting immediately. My thought process is this, if I say the things that worry me aloud then it is a thought I am sending out to the universe to answer. If that spoken thought is negative then I am inviting the universe to answer in a negative way. Someone explain this to the Lady please. In the past four days I have hung up on her six times. She keeps talking about how this could happen and that could happen and omg then this may happen. Seriously? I don't want to hear it. If I hear it then it gets tangled up in my brain and I can't dispel the foreboding thought of impending disaster. And the Lady gets mad every time I tell her to stop. She says she feels it is better to say what could happen and her worst fears so that we are all aware it could happen. What? We all know what could happen. Why does it need to be said out loud? For fuck sake. Ugh.
I'm feeling pretty puny now. Time for some hot tea with lemon and honey. That always makes me feel better. Hmmm...the wonderful Huck got me some tea from Hawaii for Valentines Day. I think it's a good time to brew some of that great island goodness.
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