We will get to that in a minute. First, let's learn a new word.
I am pisstified.
I am so profoundly pissed-off that I am in turn mystified due to the douchebagery acts to which I've fallen victim. The events leading up to this state have made me feel like a complete, utter, awkward turtle. And I know exactly why I am in this position. It's my effing Achilles Heel! Benefit of the doubt. The worse part? IT'S MY OWN FUCKING FAULT!
My horoscope read I needed to NOT make a mountain out of a mole hill today; to put my emotional hardware back in the garage so to speak. But I do this all the time! I never use the emotional plow and always take the passive seat. It's because I give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. I rarely, if ever, call someone on their bad behavior. Anyone who knows me understands that lacking all the evidence I will not judge a situation until I have full disclosure. Honestly, do we ever fully disclose everything? Uh, no. This is why I never use the emotional plow. To top things off, even if it isn't favorable information, I still allow some wiggle room. Must have been why I married a wife beater (#1), a cheater (#2), and an apathetic man (#3). My tolerance levels are astronomical, a juggernaut, overwhelming and unstoppable! Because of my high level of acceptance and relentless need for affection I end up in situations like now. IDIOT!
So where does this lead? I don't know. But I do know that I need to get over not telling people that they've hurt me or wronged me in some way. No matter how small the infraction may be I need to open my mouth and say, "Dude. That's not cool." And no, getting it out there isn't helping. I'm still just as pisstified now as I was when I began this blog.
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