It's in there!

Semi home made. Yes, its a real thing in my house. The lady trained me to use the convenience of pre-made foods and add fresh ingredients to make the meal healthier and tastier. Had a craving for spaghetti today so I made some for a late dinner. The sauce wasn't mine, it's Prego. Why? Because it's in there! And then some because I add whatever makes sense and is available in my fridge. Fresh onion, mushrooms, bell pepper (not green ones - yuck), lean ground meat, and red pepper flakes because I like a bit of a kick. If the dish requires a red sauce this is most likely what you are gonna get in my house. A doctored up version of Prego, Classico, or Barilla. I occasionally make these short cuts with baking but only when in a pinch and usually to substitute an item or enhance the recipe as opposed to it being the foundation like my spaghetti sauce.

This not doing school work thing is kinda nice. I have to admit though, not having something to procrastinate is just, well, weird. It starts all over again next week and it being a holiday weekend this should be fun. Eh, I've done this "put it off until I can't anymore" shift of gears before. Its perfectly normal since I am the Queen of Procrastination and last minute school work is the norm for me. What else do I procrastinate? Whatever I can!

Seeing my son this evening was much needed. I hadn't seen him in over a week and was missing him quite a bit. We only spent an hour together but I was happy to see he's happy. Really, truly happy. His smile was natural and laughter came easy. He's getting along well with the support of new friends. Learning independence and how to take care of himself. I'm proud of him and so pleased to see he's happy. The journey he's on is tough and will be a long one. But I am confident he will persevere.

Oh, have I mentioned lately how incredible-amazing-wonderful-handsome my darling Huckleberry is? Yeah. He is the BESTESTEST in the history of ever. Its quite magnificent how the butterflies still attack me just from his smile. And his kiss? Wow! Everything goes haywire! I have to admit. Even the littlest things he does for me mean so much. Making the bed or helping me make the bed, the little mementos that pop up now an again, holding the door open...the little things are all the difference. I carry these treasured moments with me always.

Contemplating the mortality of the crab...

I've been contemplating so many vastly different things these past few weeks I don't even know where to begin. I'm distracted and hyper-focused at the same time. I want to get off my duff and do something but then I'm content to just sit on my ass. School has closed for the term and  I need the break but I'm eager to get through this darn program.  I've managed to get two A's but the third class...I'll be happy to get a B.  Four more classes then I am done with school...maybe. There is this notion of starting on a doctorate. I fear I've become a professional student. But there's a plan and reason for all this. Partially due to a great white shark.

One thing that weighs on me, I feel guilty for enjoying "me" time in the evenings. Since my son left a month ago I've vacillated between missing having him around and enjoying the quiet solitude of being alone. I know he's happier now than he ever has been so the guilt is unwarranted. I guess it's just what mother's go through when their babies leave home for the first time. I dunno. I realize its the first and only time I'll go through this. He's adjusting much faster than me that's for sure. I am slowly adjusting to being alone. I realized I've always lived with someone my 43 years. I have always shared my home with either a parent, husband, or my child. I am now alone for the first time in my life and it's not what I expected. I'm bored sometimes. I'm lonely at other times. I talk to my self too much. Which isn't an issue because sometimes I need an expert opinion.

I did something to my ankle and after hobbling around on it for a time decided to seek medical advice which led to physical therapy. Which in turn led me to become resistant to doing the things I have been instructed to help my ankle get strong again though weakness wasn't the issue to begin with. It's actually improved a great deal and no longer gives me pain initially. But trying to walk for extended periods leaves me sore. Now my effing back is out. That is a rather boring tale. I lifted a heavy bad of dog kibble and it slipped from my hand. In my failed attempt to catch it before the chow sprayed all over my dining room floor I threw my back out. Lovely. I'm normally back to feeling fine after a day or two...not the case this time. And no, a chiro is not going to help. Saw so many in my life and I still have back issues. Needless to say I'm chillin' like a villain, feet up and laptop - well, on my lap.

It was time to renegotiate my TV package with the cable crooks. I now have so many channels I had no idea there was so much to watch! There are sports, honey badgers, and movies galore.  And what did I decide to stop the remote on? Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. Oh no! The Enterprise was hijacked!

So in preparation for the vacation of my life I've been shopping for sneakers. Ok, y'all don't seem to understand. This has been the biggest shopping expedition I've ever undertaken. Let me tell you something. I wear open sandals and flip flops. I do not wear sneakers. I cannot stand my feet to be confined in shoes. I would rather be barefoot if it were socially acceptable. I can't even stand to wear socks for any length of time. Like under a minute. I'm not interested in buying the best made or most expensive. I want a pair of tennis shoes that are light weight, provide decent support, and don't make my feet look like the aircraft carriers they are. After trying on what seemed like a million pair I think I've found one I like enough to wear longer than a minute.

Maybe.

Eat, Drink, and be Fabulous!

I am not a guest on the Maury show!

The drama that has invaded my normally calm existence has evolved into this tentacle laden creature of stress producing proportion that my brain is dim and wit is slow. I had the opportunity to get away from the anxiety and life sucking stress for three blissful days at my favorite vacation destination to celebrate the 14th anniversary of my 29th birthday. This short break allowed me to focus on and enjoy another very important part of my life with out worry or stress. Or sadness.

This girl was is in desperate need of a big drunk. BIG! My first day in paradise began with mimosa. Then add beer...a few mojitos...then more beer....I lost track of how much I imbibed. I'll tell you though, I had an epic drunk filled with laughter and little balance. There was no breakfast. There was a lunch. There was an appetizer at some point that Huck swears were green conch fritters. I don't remember green. But I do remember mojitos. And a little ditty at Irish Kevin's. And the stumble back to our darling little bed and breakfast in the nice part of town. Up all 29 steps. He counted them to prepare for the night ahead.

The moments after the third mojito are blurred. I recall many parts but many more parts are fuzzy still. There was music and a fun couple joined us at our table...new friends! A bet. Winks across the table. I think. I did take our new friend's hat. We had jello shots. Those were green. That I remember. Then it was time to go. Let the games begin! I was good for a little bit. I think I had the drunk megaphone turned up to max volume because it seemed like I was talking to everyone at once. But I was only yelling at Huck. Not yelling, yelling but yeah I was a bit loud. I think. I do remember having to stop a time or two because I lost my balance. This made me laugh even more. Bent at my waist, hands on my knees, laughing. Then there was a problem with the keys to the gate. I swear we had to walk ALL the way around to the main gate to get in...but Huck rescued us. Thank goodness!

The night ended with a long hot shower. I sat in the shower at some point. I think. There was a feisty battle with a small bar of glycerin soap. More giggles. I forgot to bring in the shampoo so I used the soap to wash my hair too. I managed to brush my teeth and comb the rats nest from my hair before going to bed...where I found my handsome hunk of man sound asleep. The night ended with the spins. I woke up and took another shower. I dunno why. Just seemed like the thing to do. When I came out there was a basket of breakfast goodies waiting for me. Breakfast in bed! 

I was soon dressed and ready to start the day. Kind of. I still had a buzz left from the night before. I attempted to eat a bit of the croissant from the breakfast basket. It was horrid! The boiled eggs weren't any better. And nothing else seemed appetizing. I drank water. Lots of water. At some point I thought I would hurl. I was poised by the waste basket ready to toss what was left of the conch fritters from the night before but was able to keep things down. Time for breakfast at my favorite place ever...so down the 29 steps we went. And we walked what seemed like miles. I was hurting. My head was ok but omg I felt like Hell warmed over. We had to stop in Walgreens for pepto tablets and motrin. Breakfast, though usually delicious, was meh at best for me. 

It was hours before I felt human. The rest of the day was filled with quiet adoration for the one man in my life that proved he can handle me at my worst. Because y'all I was a hot mess!

I'm done with drinking for a while. I think.