Contemplating the mortality of the crab...

I've been contemplating so many vastly different things these past few weeks I don't even know where to begin. I'm distracted and hyper-focused at the same time. I want to get off my duff and do something but then I'm content to just sit on my ass. School has closed for the term and  I need the break but I'm eager to get through this darn program.  I've managed to get two A's but the third class...I'll be happy to get a B.  Four more classes then I am done with school...maybe. There is this notion of starting on a doctorate. I fear I've become a professional student. But there's a plan and reason for all this. Partially due to a great white shark.

One thing that weighs on me, I feel guilty for enjoying "me" time in the evenings. Since my son left a month ago I've vacillated between missing having him around and enjoying the quiet solitude of being alone. I know he's happier now than he ever has been so the guilt is unwarranted. I guess it's just what mother's go through when their babies leave home for the first time. I dunno. I realize its the first and only time I'll go through this. He's adjusting much faster than me that's for sure. I am slowly adjusting to being alone. I realized I've always lived with someone my 43 years. I have always shared my home with either a parent, husband, or my child. I am now alone for the first time in my life and it's not what I expected. I'm bored sometimes. I'm lonely at other times. I talk to my self too much. Which isn't an issue because sometimes I need an expert opinion.

I did something to my ankle and after hobbling around on it for a time decided to seek medical advice which led to physical therapy. Which in turn led me to become resistant to doing the things I have been instructed to help my ankle get strong again though weakness wasn't the issue to begin with. It's actually improved a great deal and no longer gives me pain initially. But trying to walk for extended periods leaves me sore. Now my effing back is out. That is a rather boring tale. I lifted a heavy bad of dog kibble and it slipped from my hand. In my failed attempt to catch it before the chow sprayed all over my dining room floor I threw my back out. Lovely. I'm normally back to feeling fine after a day or two...not the case this time. And no, a chiro is not going to help. Saw so many in my life and I still have back issues. Needless to say I'm chillin' like a villain, feet up and laptop - well, on my lap.

It was time to renegotiate my TV package with the cable crooks. I now have so many channels I had no idea there was so much to watch! There are sports, honey badgers, and movies galore.  And what did I decide to stop the remote on? Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. Oh no! The Enterprise was hijacked!

So in preparation for the vacation of my life I've been shopping for sneakers. Ok, y'all don't seem to understand. This has been the biggest shopping expedition I've ever undertaken. Let me tell you something. I wear open sandals and flip flops. I do not wear sneakers. I cannot stand my feet to be confined in shoes. I would rather be barefoot if it were socially acceptable. I can't even stand to wear socks for any length of time. Like under a minute. I'm not interested in buying the best made or most expensive. I want a pair of tennis shoes that are light weight, provide decent support, and don't make my feet look like the aircraft carriers they are. After trying on what seemed like a million pair I think I've found one I like enough to wear longer than a minute.

Maybe.