The therapy is...

Some days I want to hide under the covers. Other days I'm in combat stance ready to strike. The days in between are a joining of both extremes because I have discovered ways to self soothe. Today was a day I needed to reach into my bag of tricks. My day started out relatively smooth and only required two hits on the snooze rather than three. I was having a good hair day. I actually managed to spend some time on my appearance. I chose an outfit that was complimented. I wasn't late for work. I was feeling magnificent, well, because I am. It was a cheerful day until...

I know I have a foul mouth. I've never attempted to lead anyone I work with to believe I am a quiet little church mouse. That thing most people have in their brain that tells them not to say something offensive? I think its called a censor. Yeah, I don't have one of those. I've worked with this group for three years and no one has told me I am too vulgar. Honestly, I'm quite mild compared to some people I hang with but let me tell you how mortified I am to be told to watch my mouth...by my manager. When I was told someone complained via email that I used a bad word and offended someone's ear I was stupefied. I was so mortified it led me to apologize to everyone around me. I honestly didn't, and still don't, recall any conversation I had with anyone that resulted in me using profanity. And c'mon...who hasn't peppered their conversation with colorful metaphors? On a serious note though, I thought I was a 43 year old woman. Why on earth is a grown ass adult complaining to a manager instead of telling me to watch my mouth? The office I work in is Kindergarten on steroids. Ummmmm, I'mmmmm telllllinggggg! WTF?

You there, you big titty baby (I love that one) that can't speak up for yourself like an adult, bite me!

Now what was in my bag of tricks? My bag of tricks contained a bottle of wine, ricotta cheese, sauce, veggies, Italian sausage, and lasagna. Today my method of self soothing was an orchestra of single ingredients that once put together made the most delicious lasagna I ever made. Buttloads of the most delicious lasagna I ever made. Oh my effing goodness I had so much stuff to assemble this lasagna that I made one large dish (which I baked tonight) and two smaller dishes to freeze. Cooking is valuable therapy. It helps me calm down and move past whatever transgressions I experience. After what happened today I needed to cook.

I know it doesn't seem like getting in trouble at work for using a bad word is a big deal to some of you. Y'all need to realize that I'm not the type to purposely offend anyone for any reason. I always try to consider the folks I work with and spend time with. I know I can't make everyone happy - obviously there is one person out there that is gunning for me for some unknown reason, but I am considerate to say the least. To everyone. Even the assholes I know who detest me for my sunny disposition and kindness. I like to think that keeping my side of the fence clean means something to even the jerks that dislike me. Mainly that I have integrity. I need to suck it up and move past this now. Maybe I needed to up the therapy and throw in some baking.

One thing I learned today, haters gonna hate no matter how good a person I am.