Love your mom!

Mom. I love my mom tremendously. She's an incredible woman, truly. The "Lady" as I affectionately call her, made a life for herself and her family from basically nothing but the knowledge of her upbringing. She had Dad for support of course, but she raised us on her own. She was born and raised in a third world country, living in a one room house with dirt floors. She finished high school but received no formal education after. Her days since her 19th year was spent raising a family and taking care of a man. I received my formal wife-mother training from the Lady.  She is an accomplished wife-mother and I followed very closely in her foot steps to that regard. Granted three times a wife but that's not the point.

The Lady is a very, very giving woman. She has provided for me and my brother and her collective brood of grandchildren over and over again. She worries about all of us all the time. Her vigil is tireless. Her efforts do not go unnoticed and her giving and loving nature are appreciated times infinity. For real!

But there is this one character trait I've noticed most of my life...the Lady has a dark streak. And this darkness- I really don't know what else to call it-is not a good thing to be the object of. In my earlier years she would nag and I would fight back, venomously. Now, I listen and let her say what she needs to say. Sometimes more than once. Ok, at least three times three different ways maybe more. Then I say, "Yup. You have a great point there, Lady." And then I politely end the call. Or walk away. Actually, my Huck taught me the art of just letting her have her say and letting it go. I do fear though that one day I will sound just like her. My son told me once I sounded just like his "Bà ngoại" (the Vietnamese word for "Nana.") I shivered and said "Oh God NO!" Boy did I reign it in in a hurry!

The Lady can pepper anyone with a barrage of demeaning darkness that would leave even a four star general in tears. Her tactic is extreme. It's downright mean. She begins the conversation with pleasantries then BAM! You're hit over the head with her worries for you and how you should handle your problems and all the things you are doing wrong and why you haven't been able to get better things in life and why your dreams and hopes are worthless thoughts and the choices you make in life are mistakes and on and on and on...There isn't a conversation with the Lady that doesn't end with the feeling of being a worthless lump.

This is why I have a three day limit when visiting her. I leave in worse psychological shape then when I arrived. There is no relaxing, no letting my hair down, no rest. I'm on guard the entire time waiting for the judgement. My hair is too long, too dark. I'm too fat. I'm not a good mother. I'm not getting enough exercise. Ok, she's right on that one. I spend too much money on unnecessary things. I should have no pets because I can't take care of myself. I live in a bad neighborhood, I need to move. There is very little, if any, complimentary conversation or supportive dialogue. I'm flooding now because I just had one of these very unhappy conversations with her tonight that has been only the source of her on going disappointment of my life. Well, actually this conversation has been the same topic for months and we've spoken every day and it's always the same thing....I've made too many bad choices in my life recently and is why life has dealt me the cards in my hand. Of course, this is her opinion not mine. I think my choices lately have been brilliant and the best for me. I'm carrying at least a straight flush now. Two years ago it was just a pair...




The best lines from Big Bang Theory this week...the girls went to Vegas for the weekend:

Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler: They have a group of Australian male strippers!
Bernadette: We want to go see if they can twirl their junk in the opposite direction!