One little monkey...

I had the pleasure of enjoying a midday adventure to the University of Miami Medical Center for a nerve conduction study. While visiting with my Rheumatologist a couple weeks ago I mentioned I had some tingling and numbness in my hands. She recommended I go to neurology to get this study done to make sure everything is ok with with my nerves. Well, ok. Fibromyalgia is a nerve problem so I can see why she would suggest the trip. I decided midday would be the best time to drive down since early morning and late afternoon would have brought the Puerto Rican out in me with a whole lot of cussing. Though I am generally patient behind the wheel I do tend to yell at other drivers that don't know the pedal on the right makes a car go. C'mon! We all know I like to drive fast!

With the Ebola scare running rampant in the media, it seems most medical centers are asking patients upon registration if they've traveled to Africa in the past 21 days. I knew this question was coming so when the kid asked me if I'd traveled overseas or to Africa I said, "Yeah. About 10 days ago." OMG the look on his face. He froze. It seemed he didn't know what he should do next and it was only for a second or two then I couldn't help but start giggling. Then he started to laugh and says, " I was hoping your were joking because we'd have to sound the alarms and get a hazmat suit for you." To which I reply, " What? The alarms are Congo drums? And as long as the suit isn't prison orange we're good." 

I was flipping anxious. I was nervous. I was on the verge of darting out of the building because the wait time was nearing one hour. When the clock ticked past one hour I finally went to the desk and asked if I needed to reschedule my appointment to never. I was assured the doctor would be with me soon and the study wouldn't take too long. Ok, fine. Dammit. I went back to my seat. Then a few minutes later a little Asian girl calls my name from the entrance doors. Sheesh these doctors are as old as Doogie Howser was when he started med school. After following her down some long hallways we end up in the exam room. 

When I walked in the doctor was perched in front this towering computerized torture device. There was a monitor laced with buttons, dials, and switches with a rather thick electrical cord running towards the wall. I looked at the machine, at the smiling doctor, and back to the machine. If the look on my face didn't tip him off I was a little freaked out then the rather pathetic whimper did. I did one quick Google search on what to expect from this study. I found out a couple of electrodes would be placed on my skin at various points and electrical currents would be sent to my nerves to test for function and damage. It didn't sound too bad but I was still nervous about the pain factor. There was some mention of needles and that freaked me out but I was told to not do anymore research. I did read a bit further and found that was a different kind of test. So I relaxed a bit and forgot about it.

I was asked to lay down on the table. While chattering away like a friggin' monkey in a tree, the doctor prepped my arm from the elbow down with alcohol. The student doctor and the doctor both are in stitches laughing because I guess I'm a stand-up act at the Improv. They both exclaim that I have brightened their day with laughter and asked if I'd come back to see them again. I told them it depended on what painful torment they had in store for me but sure.Then he fastened stuff here and there and looped some wires around my fingers. I can't see what he's doing because I am lying down. The doctor kept asking me random questions and assured me there wouldn't be any pain just sensations. I have to admit I may have a high threshold for pain but it doesn't mean . There wasn't any pain. There wasn't much sensation either. I could tell the electrical current was increased at regular intervals but no, it didn't hurt. Just felt weird as hell. Then he said, "Ok, now I have to use the needles." I whipped my head towards him and said, "You're shittin' me right?" He threw his head back laughing and it took him a minute to continue getting his needles ready. The whole time I am staring at him like wtf?  The needles in my muscles test was quite a but more uncomfortable, didn't hurt, but I could feel my hand clenching up and spasm. When he was finished he said he was going to do my other arm. Uh, no. I politely declined that one. 

All said and done I have a mild case of carpel tunnel. What the freak is that all about? Well, at least I know why my fingers go numb sometimes but it still doesn't explain why my joints hurt and why I feel like I have the flu aches. The numbness isn't even all that bad. Makes me feel like it was a wasted trip. It would be nice if I could get through a day with out some kind of pain. In time I guess. Can't stop life because my joints hurt. 

Dog shaming...a long winded story.

My dog lost her mind last night. No, seriously. I think she left it in the grass with her evening constitutional. It started about 2am. I take that back. It started with a maple frosted cupcake around nine. After spending a fun evening with friends, Huck and I were sent home with some fabulously moist cupcakes with maple butter-cream frosting. I did not have the opportunity to have one earlier so when we arrived home I brought two up to the TV room for a treat after I took the girls out for their evening walk. One for me, one for Huck. I left them on the coffee table and went to change my clothes and ready for a quiet evening on the couch.

When I walked back into the den I see Sunshine chowing down on something. She's standing with her back end towards me and her tail tucked trying to hurriedly woof down whatever it was she got. The tucked tail gave her away - it told me she was chewing on something she shouldn't be chewing on. I ask, "What you chewing on, Sunshine?" Like she understood the question she makes this grand gesture of quickly swallowing any evidence of what she had gotten in to and slowly turns her head toward my voice. I immediately look to the table to see, low and behold, a missing cupcake. Oh, for Pete's sake! 

She does this too.

Around 2am the shenanigans began. It started with her jumping into bed. Normally this isn't an issue because she settles right away and doesn't bother anyone save slowly pushing her way deeper into the bed. No, this time she jumped into the bed and stood over me panting in my face. I thought nothing of it and pushed her back to the floor. There is no thunder storm. No lightning, No rain. Dejected, she went into the corners of each room and started digging - scrubbing her nails like she's trying to make a bed. After that didn't satisfy her she tried the bed again. This time I allowed her to lay down next to me near my head but she just kept panting in my face. Hot dog breath in my face is not the best sleeping  environment. So I pushed her on to the floor again for her to go from one bathroom to the next and back again trying to hide behind the toilet. I know this because I heard the garbage cans move around. Now she comes back again but only jumps half way up to paw at me. And pant in my face. Crap! It then dawns on me after fighting her off for 45 minutes...the cupcake might be upsetting her. Out of bed I go to take her and Annie out. Yeah, Annie is the angel this time. She only roused from sleep because I got out of bed. She was happy for the late night adventure and even more happy to settle back down to sleep after.

After our quick middle of the night walk we are back upstairs and I am back in bed. But the shenanigans ensued. Up on the bed panting over my head. Shove her down. Back up. Moving garbage cans in the bathrooms. Pawing at me from the floor. I get up and go lay on the couch. She climbs up with me but stays down by my feet. She finally settles down and I fall asleep for a while. She seemed settled but was woken up to her panting again. She was fine when I took her out earlier and no evidence of a tummy upset so another late night walk was not necessary. Maybe it was the large amount of sugar just messing with her. I dunno. She settled again. I fell asleep for a bit, woke up again, and went back to bed with her tucked in under my Dolphin's squishy blanket. That of course didn't last long. It is now 4:30am. I am frustrated. I am getting angry. All I want is to sleep! So I go back out to the couch with her and she's settled in again and my back is screaming. And my body hurts. But if this is the only way to calm the dog so I can sleep I'll take it! Then I heard it. 

If smoke detectors are plugged into an electric source, why the FUCK do we have to put batteries into them? The dog lost her mind over the repetitive chirp of a dying battery in a smoke detector downstairs. I was instantly pissed when I realized what the hec was going on. OMG!!! down the stairs I go, drag the freakin' dining room chair over, climb up, and rip the effing thing right off the ceiling - wires and everything, I couldn't get the fucking battery out of it fast enough! How did I not hear this for the several hours before? My goodness it could have saved me a lot of aggravation. Amazingly my old girl Annie was curled up in a ball sound asleep the whole time. Hard of hearing to deaf. Whatever stage she is at good for her. She missed the drama. 

I was finally able to go to sleep at 5:30 this morning. 

My sweet puppy Sunshine's very rude behavior last night served as a not so pleasant reminder of life as a young mother with a new born baby. There were many sleepless nights much like last night.  Dealing with Sunshine was like dealing with a cranky sleepless baby, my Punk. I don't think I slept the first six months of his life. Really. Today has been rather busy. Busier than I expected so there was no opportunity for a nap. Now here I am, it's getting late, and I'm blogging about a sleepless night like y'all care. I think I'll go to bed now. Well, by midnight. LOL!

Yes, I am a slight bit ornery.

New Year’s Eve was quiet. New Year’s Day was just as quiet. We spent the afternoon with friends eating chili and watching the games. I made a corn bread that turned out pretty bland, but this was on purpose. My Huck immediately knew it wasn't my normal but that was because I was advised the clan isn't big on big flavors. So I toned down my normal flair for adding spices and whatnot to create the semi-home made love on a plate I'm known to make (I also used a box mix that is not my normal brand). Well, the lady of the house ate it and from what I understand that’s almost a miracle. Snaps for me! The man of the house was a little riled up though, thankfully not about my bland corn bread. There was talk about an annual Christmas letter sent out by Huck's parents and how I was mentioned at least five times or so and not even one peep about him. He was puzzled why he wasn't mentioned considering how much he loves them, possibly even more than their own son ;) I was promised I would be able to read the annual recap but still haven’t seen this letter. I figured if they said anything bad I wouldn't have heard about it second hand. But yes, that’s your sweet Baby Girl, dropping a casual hint. 

Our friends had sent us home with a ton of fried chicken. I decided to make potato salad to go with it for dinner the next day so I asked Huck if he wanted old fashioned or German style. He wanted to test my abilities and decided German style was the best way to do so. Challenge accepted! Well, I searched the Inter-webs high and low for a suitable variation of what to me is an authentic German style potato salad. What I did not realize is the traditional recipes do not call for mayonnaise or sour cream and that truly surprised me. I figured I had been wrong in my thinking all these years and decided to follow one of the traditional recipes found on the Inter-webs. I will say I am so proud of how good it tasted! And then I served it. Huck looked at it like a confused puppy. You know, with his head tilted to the right? He was instantly skeptical. I think he almost didn't try it. He kept eyeballing it like it was going to leap out of the serving dish. Why? It looked nothing like his mother’s traditional German style potato salad with mayo and tomatoes (which he grew up eating) made from a recipe given by a German cook while in Germany. Go figure.

With potatoes remaining and taking up space in the pantry I decided it was a great idea to make potato soup. A friend from work was telling me how good her recipe was so I asked her to share and she did obligingly. I stopped at the grocer on the way home to pick up a few missing items. When I got home I took care of the fur-babies, Annie and Sunshine. After they had their evening constitutional I got to work on the soup. As everything starts to come together I realize, wow! This is darn good soup! I text Huck to tell him I might be getting arrested. He text me back immediately asking what on earth was going on. I responded, “My potato soup is so good it’s criminal!” He didn't find the humor in that. I think I actually gave him a mini heart attack. I can't cry wolf ever again that's for sure. I'll of course never reach his level of ornery. Huck is still, and will remain, the King and Master of Ornery - I'll never reach his level because I'm him but nicer. I will admit here the whole "getting arrested" idea is slightly borrowed but totally spun out to fit right in to my level of ornery. It brings me back to the times I used to tell the Lady stories about my after school adventures with Hawaii and Re-run. A few times I think she actually believed me!

Vietnamese bánh gio or Echto-slime

Huck and I will be spending a low key Martin Luther King Day together. We have a day trip planned to Northern Cuba to get some personal business out of the way. When I lived down that way years ago my daddy and I found a little street side market that sells exotic local fruit and vegetables. I’ll be taking Huck there to check it out. They make juices, smoothies, and shakes so I am anxious to try one since I never did while I lived down there. I’m bent on getting Huck to try something new though his trust threshold with my suggestions is low at this point (the Vietnamese echto-slime and Into the Woods come to mind) but this adventure will hopefully provide me with some story material to share with y'all in the future.

Are you, like, a mental person?

I didn't sleep well last night. I avoided the late night sweet, didn't eat dinner too late, and even took a melatonin. I forced myself to go to bed every night with the goal to be head-on-pillow by midnight. I made it to pillow time by 12:15am. Not bad. I fell asleep pretty quickly after I said my ritual good night prayers and love you's. I don't know how long I was asleep but while in a deep dream sleep, I was rudely woken up. It wasn't a strange or loud noise that woke me up. I wasn't hot. No trains passing by. No planes flying over. The low hum of the fan continued it's soothing pass left and right. What woke me up then? I woke up because I felt like I was being watched. 

And who was watching me? My chicken-ass, panicked, anxious drooling, 70 pound puppy dog was standing over me looking right into my face while panting in panic. You see, it was raining last night. Rain is occasionally accompanied by thunder. And lightning. When you merge the sound of rain, the boom of thunder, and bright flashes of light through dilapidated blinds what do you think happens? You get one very anxious dog that can't decide if she wants to be comforted or flee for her life. When I say flee for her life I mean she just hides behind the bathroom door until the noise stops. So I spent the night with my dog working herself into a lather over a little thunderstorm. She panted constantly, yes, in my face and couldn't get comfortable since I was laying in her spot. The middle of the bed. When she finally settled down she was tail towards me and since she stop acting squirrelly I could finally fall back to sleep. But then...Yeah, in Sunshine's overwhelming fear of thunderstorms, she passed the most noxious anxiety induced gas right at my face. For the love of God!

The damp weather we've had the past few days has been a bitch. I have my follow up appointment with the Rheumatologist tomorrow. We will be discussing the results of my blood work and I guess talk about what's next. I'm a little freaked out. I know Fibromyalgia isn't too big a deal and since it isn't a progressive disease I don't have to worry about getting worse over time. If that is indeed what I have then my concern becomes how to mange the pain on my bad days. I don't believe I have rheumatoid anymore. The doc did bring up Lupus. Some things point to that but some things don't at all. It's just so frustrating that I hurt when I shouldn't hurt. All over, like I have the flu. When it's damp and cold it's worse. I've also decided the medications used to treat Fibromyalgia come with may too many side effects I'd rather not experience. I'm good with Aleeve when I'm having a bad day. How strange is it that I could have this pain for so long and all of sudden it becomes amplified because it now may have a name? Isn't that a psychological response of some sort? Ok, ok. I guess this means I'm mental. Some of you are nodding your head in agreement, aren't you? Stahp!

Into the Woods...NO! Let me out! Please! Please, just stop singing!

I've always been a fan of Grimm's fairy tales since my father read them to me as a little girl. The mashing of the four more well known stories brought to life in this way (yes, I understand it was a Broadway musical first of which I never saw) was quite interesting and took forever to get to the end. Just when you thought it was a good time to wrap things up they started singing again! I'm telling you, it felt like I was sitting in the movie theater recliner for much longer than just two hours! A few actors all did well portraying their version of the characters which is the most positive thing I have to say about this film.

Anna Kendrick was fantastic but then I am a Pitch Perfect fan. Same goes fer Meryl Streep - is there anything she can't do? I still feel my most favorite role of her's is in Sophie's Choice. Chris Pine - I did not know he was a comedic vocalist. Whether he was supposed to be or not, I couldn't help but chuckle, rather laugh out loud, during his princely duet. Then it got weird. Johnny Depp as the Big Bad Wolf...let's just say he came off more as a creepy pedophile than a wild animal stalking his prey. So, all that aside, syncopated speech is not for everyone. Lulu warned me. Though I do not have an aversion to syncopated speech - have performed that way myself in high school drama classes, I am afraid I am no longer allowed to make movie date suggestions. My Huck has put me on movie picking suspension - I fear it may be permanent after this disaster.

For a slow and boring day, time sure has passed pretty quickly. I had good intentions for productivity today. Instead I found yet another game on Facebook to play. I did manage to get a few things scratched off my to-do list. Took the garbage out, made the bed, emptied the dishwasher, and got the ornament boxes out of the garage. My goal today was to take the Christmas tree down. Yeah, not happening. At least I got the boxes for the ornaments out of the garage-that's a good start. Now I'm ready to finish my day with a whole lot of nothing.