Are you, like, a mental person?

I didn't sleep well last night. I avoided the late night sweet, didn't eat dinner too late, and even took a melatonin. I forced myself to go to bed every night with the goal to be head-on-pillow by midnight. I made it to pillow time by 12:15am. Not bad. I fell asleep pretty quickly after I said my ritual good night prayers and love you's. I don't know how long I was asleep but while in a deep dream sleep, I was rudely woken up. It wasn't a strange or loud noise that woke me up. I wasn't hot. No trains passing by. No planes flying over. The low hum of the fan continued it's soothing pass left and right. What woke me up then? I woke up because I felt like I was being watched. 

And who was watching me? My chicken-ass, panicked, anxious drooling, 70 pound puppy dog was standing over me looking right into my face while panting in panic. You see, it was raining last night. Rain is occasionally accompanied by thunder. And lightning. When you merge the sound of rain, the boom of thunder, and bright flashes of light through dilapidated blinds what do you think happens? You get one very anxious dog that can't decide if she wants to be comforted or flee for her life. When I say flee for her life I mean she just hides behind the bathroom door until the noise stops. So I spent the night with my dog working herself into a lather over a little thunderstorm. She panted constantly, yes, in my face and couldn't get comfortable since I was laying in her spot. The middle of the bed. When she finally settled down she was tail towards me and since she stop acting squirrelly I could finally fall back to sleep. But then...Yeah, in Sunshine's overwhelming fear of thunderstorms, she passed the most noxious anxiety induced gas right at my face. For the love of God!

The damp weather we've had the past few days has been a bitch. I have my follow up appointment with the Rheumatologist tomorrow. We will be discussing the results of my blood work and I guess talk about what's next. I'm a little freaked out. I know Fibromyalgia isn't too big a deal and since it isn't a progressive disease I don't have to worry about getting worse over time. If that is indeed what I have then my concern becomes how to mange the pain on my bad days. I don't believe I have rheumatoid anymore. The doc did bring up Lupus. Some things point to that but some things don't at all. It's just so frustrating that I hurt when I shouldn't hurt. All over, like I have the flu. When it's damp and cold it's worse. I've also decided the medications used to treat Fibromyalgia come with may too many side effects I'd rather not experience. I'm good with Aleeve when I'm having a bad day. How strange is it that I could have this pain for so long and all of sudden it becomes amplified because it now may have a name? Isn't that a psychological response of some sort? Ok, ok. I guess this means I'm mental. Some of you are nodding your head in agreement, aren't you? Stahp!