I just like this story...Hercules and Megara. He dove in the river Styx to rescue her soul!
Hamper is overflowing. School work is waiting. Dusting is behind schedule. Vacuuming, one chore I loathe, needs to be done daily. Brushing the hairy beasts seems like a good idea. I didn't make my bed this morning. Toilets needs to be scrubbed. The dishwasher is full. I've got a great book to read. I'm exhausted by the time change still. TV is keeping me company tonight. Haven't done yoga in a while. Winning the lottery sounds like a great idea. Bake? Nah. Not in the mood. Boy, am I all over the place or what? I have a great life. A life that allows me the luxury of putting off many of the things I could be doing. I am blessed in so many great and incredible ways! I am wealthy with adoring family and loyal friends. I've even found a love that is quite unique and just, gosh, amazing!
OMG! What is wrong with me? A commercial just came on advertising mobile check deposits and Momma handed her new baby to her brother so she could do her banking. He was resistant at first but after the baby settled and stopped crying he was good to go. For half a millisecond I wanted a baby. Yikes! WTF? Wait, wait, wait...I think I know what this is about. A couple things actually. I can't believe I'm writing this here. First, my adult son will someday soon leave the nest. He will become a self sufficient, valuable contributor to society. That kind of freaks me out...that my child will want to leave and have a completely separate life from mine. What happened to the sweet baby that needed me for everything? I realize that's what kids do but damn. No! He's my baby and I don't want him to leave, ever! But I also want him to be independent. The bi-polar flip flopping doesn't work for me and wears me out. Your old ma will adjust when its time to go.
OK ,so the other thing is going to be harder to explain. Huckleberry loves kids. Adores them. I see this in him. I see him watch children with wonder and awe. Quite frankly makes me feel squishy when I'm witness to this, this joy and delight dancing in his eyes. Gooey, goo-goo eyed squishy! I smile and my heart swells. So, I'm 42, nearly 43. Holy shit! I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Shop is closed and has been for over two decades. The biological clock no longer ticks, trust me. Never in those 20 some years did I ever have any longing need or desire for another child. Nope, not even an inkling. So what the hell happened? I think I can explain what happened. I've talked about how Huckleberry's happiness is in turn my happiness. In that half a millisecond I wanted a baby because I know children, in general, bring happiness to Huckleberry. Not my intention to sound bat shit crazy...c'mon it was just a fleeting thought! Please don't hang me! Totally went full female for half a millisecond over a TV baby. Geez! I can hear him asking in his radio DJ voice, "What is wrong with you?" With emphasis on the word 'wrong.' LMAO! Can't take the thought back now. It happened whether we were ready to hear it or not! And I'm shaking my head at myself...
I've just reached that awkward moment when I said something stupid and instead of shutting up I keep talking and made it worse. Yeah, I could be doing other things right now. Like keeping my mouth shut.
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