I smell smoke!

I've been thinking again...this is dangerous, I know. 

I've been thinking about what I may do after I'm too old and too tired for the work force. Am I going to be one of those goofy old ladies wearing a red hat and purple dress? Red hat maybe. Purple dress...uh, NOT! While I love the regal shade of purple I refuse to wear it. Has something to do with a popular kids character named Barney. You heard of him? Yeah. Not going to wear purple.  Moving on, so, will I take up numerous hobbies like knitting, macrame, or crocheting? Nah. Maybe make jewelry or take more art classes. Maybe find a pottery shop I can turn my own clay and fire it. I will admit, I was totally prepared to becoming the crazy dog lady. You know, I'd be retired but I'd work tirelessly for the local Golden rescue. I'd foster half a dozen in a quaint house near the ocean with a pool in the back yard. Yes, I need a pool. There is some strange therapy wrapped around that need. Kinda like how I feel when peeling an orange. Oh, and I'm going to have sun-kissed skin and no tan lines. But yes, I actually considered starting my collection of orphaned Goldens sooner rather than later. Seriously. 

Then something unexpected happened. Someone else showed up. All of a sudden I don't want to be the crazy dog lady anymore. Don't misunderstand, I will likely always have at least two-dogs I mean. I'm very partial to dogs. Big dawgs! They respond, they adapt, they love unconditionally. My girls are like my kids. But this isn't about them. This is about my person. My heart. The one that found a way to my soul. A path no one has ever seen or known quite frankly, not even close.  No one ever reached the barrier to break through. To me, it's pure magic. In the past it was always about what I could bring to the table. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I vacuum even though I loathe doing it. I was raised to be a house wife. I was raised to take care of a man and children and a home. The lady is not disappointed by my interpretation of the trade she bestowed on me. My daddy raised me to be an independent thinker and hard worker. He also taught me how to be kind and gentle to even those who cannot do anything for me- look for the best in everyone but don't settle. And there I go on another tangent...point is, I don't believe my most favorite will take me for granted like the others. 

So now I'm looking ahead and there is someone there. My son is living his own life. Maybe married with my grandbabies-please God not until I'm at least 50! My person is parked in his chair watching the tube-sports most likely. For fuck sake, yes! He has a pass for ALL sports. You know what? I dig the hell out of it too! The dogs are sleeping at his feet. Where am I? Puttering around the kitchen deciding what to bake  or cook , maybe writing a novel, based on real life. Either way, I've got a pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade made with sliced strawberries and a little bit if mint. I dunno why mint, for zing? I'm doing my thing whatever whim fancies me at the time. The freakin' most awesome thing about that, the whim and fancy thing? He let's me do it! Whatever it may be. Well, except for the half dozen dogs. I don't think that will fly. LOL!

The point is this, I thought I was going to go it alone for the rest of my life. I thought for certain that I was not destined to be somebody's someone. Not for lack of trying that's for sure. Glutton for punishment? Probably. I'd rather call it just plain hopeless. But this last time? Shoot, I just threw in the towel. I was determined to be alone. To be the crazy dog lady with half a dozen golden retrievers running around the pool in the back yard of a quaint little house near the ocean. 

You know what? Solitary crazy dog lady life is not my vision anymore. There is no question of what's next for me. I know what's next. I get share my life with an amazing incredible man. Today, tomorrow, the next day...in what capacity? Eh, we'll figure it out. Cross that bride when we come to it. I can hear him calling for me from his chair though, "Baby girl?! Can you make me a sandwich?" I smile and answer, "Of course, Huckleberry. You want some lemonade too?" Because this life is what the lady prepared me for. This life is what my daddy taught me to hold out for. This life is the one I've wanted each time I tried and failed. 

As always,

M