Understanding me...an excerpt.

Every new relationship comes with baggage and its a natural thing for us to be curious about our other half's relationships before becoming an item. Its also perfectly normal to be skeptical and wonder if your girl or beau is "over" the one from before. I find that to be especially true of people who jump from one relationship to the next with out any down time. Hoppers never get a chance to breath and learn about themselves and redefine their desires and needs. They overlap past feelings with new feelings and can't tell you if they are coming or going. Sometimes its perfectly normal for a hopper to begin a new relationship while still in one. 

Leaving a relationship or being left is never easy. Especially when you are crazy about the person. If you don't have any residual feeling for someone you've married, lived with, or spent a good amount of time with then you are an alien. I've always believed the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. It's called a rebound kids. Rebounds are designed to be short and sweet. Its not meant to be your next relationship, just a dalliance. I will admit...chicks are especially fond of hopping. Its not something I'm proud of, this hopping, but have done it in the past. I think it has to do with the double standard idea. It's ok for men to be casually involved with a string of women but when a woman does it she's a slut. That's why we end up in relationships with men that are far less than perfect for us.

Ok, the catalyst for this topic tonight was brought on by conversation with my Huckleberry. We are now past the "dating" phase and are nestling very nicely in the relationship phase. How I know we've reached this point (aside from Huck mentioning we are) is the fact I want to share every bit of my life with him. And he wants to share everything about his life with me. I want him to know what I do to pass time when we are apart. I want him to know about my niece cutting all of her thick gorgeous hair off and donating it to charity. I want him to know I'm not on medication. I want him to know I'm saving money by switching cell carriers. I want him to know that I'm not big on going to the doctor unless I'm dying....or for routine check ups. I want him to know that every decision I now make I always take him in to consideration. This includes lunch dates with Lulu!

I'm off topic. Ok, so I was talking about how I loved working in retail and it brings him back in time to a past relationship and how he was pretty crazy about her. In curiosity, and only to learn more about him, I asked why he isn't still with her. I meant no malice or felt any jealousy. I wasn't trying to trip him up. The reason why doesn't really matter to me because there isn't a shred of doubt that Huckleberry loves me. He loves ME. I know this with all of my heart and all of my soul. I was just curious. What did I learn from that question? Well, I was more reminded...that old habits die hard. It's not on me this time though! Huckleberry is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't blame him. After years of conditioning he's accustomed to the predictable response associated with "jealous" that he wasn't sure how to answer. I still firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Our past relationships were lessons so we, Huck and I, could be ultimately prepared for each other when we finally met and fell in love. Timing...timing is everything. 

And it's now OUR time until forever.

As always,

M