The challenges of life are testing me lately. Nothing bad of course. I have nothing to complain about. I have a nice home, drive a nice car, I make enough money to pay my bills and support my Bath & Body Works habit. Lately, it seems, my positive attitude and outlook is being pushed to the limit. I'm emotional and needy. On the verge of tears one minute and wanting to tear someone's head off the next. Somewhere in between I'm my normal jovial self. I had the woman talk with the lady the other day. I'm at the age she was when she neared the end of "the change." Is this what this is all about? Freaking hormones?! Please tell me it gets better! I just rolled my eyes at myself... OMG! Stop whining!
I've always been of the mindset I don't need a man in my life. I am perfectly capable of doing it on my own. I've lived it. I know it. Yeah, Huck I know this sounds familiar. This is one of those eerie topics I never confirmed because it's eerie. I don't need a man. Been my relationship mantra since I was 24. But here's the thing. I want, yes WANT, a man in my life. Not just any man. A man that can handle me at my worst. A man that deserves me at my best. A man that gets me. If its "the change" I'm dealing with now..shoot...this will be my worse if I can't get a handle on it. Of course, I know the most wonderful man in the world can handle me. It's obvious why. He gets me! Proved that today...
Knowing the most incredible-amazing-fantastic man loves me is like taking a dose of anti-anxiety meds. He is my Xanax. Not a day, hour, minute, or second goes by that I don't want to bring to life my dreamiest fantasies of happily ever after. I find myself rearranging things in my life mentally to prepare for eventualities. I have ideas. Wonderful ideas. I've finally met the love of my life and I'm in a hurry to live our forever together. The more time I spend with Huck, the more time I want to spend with Huck. Well hello, crazy brains! I sound like a raving lunatic again. I swear, it's just thoughts, dreams, and fantasies right now.
You there, stop checking your pulse! LOL!
As always,
M
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