October is breast cancer awareness month!

I had my very first ever mammogram today. I have been sweating this day for the past several years and actually avoided the script written by my doctor last year. Why you ask? Well, I didn't want my titties squished in a cold vise to the point of splitting like a delicate grape. No, no, no. My girls have been a very large part of my life (and extension of my personality) for a great many years and did not want to stick them in a machine that could possibly mash them to a pulp. I have always been a supporter of breast cancer awareness and saw an add for Broward Medical promoting the annual Mammopoluza. This is how I arrived to this day, this morning, at the Women's Center getting my boobies pinched in a vise. 

I drove right to the building and parked the car. I didn't see many other cars there but then it was the ass crack of dawn since I had to do this before work. This observation, the very few cars in the lot one, immediately made me think, "Oh goodie! I am in the wrong place. Oops! Now I have to reschedule to never." Well my guilt and horrible thoughts of my boobies being taken from me forced me out of the car and into the building. Up the elevator I went and right to the door. Deep breath. Turn the handle. 

The office was decorated in pink flowers, pink balloons, pink gift bags, pink everything! I was instantly in love with all the pink!!! The receptionist was even dressed in a gorgeous pink patterned dress and had a brilliant hot pink smile. Wow! I signed in, yadda yadda, and sat to wait for my turn in the knocker torture device. Then my name was called. I almost bolted for the exit. But the xray tech was a sweet older lady that didn't seem to have a mean bone in her body. She smiled at the horror on my face and said, "First time?" I nodded and she patted my arm reassuringly. I changed in to the robe and timidly entered the screening room not sure what to do. This sweet lady yanked open the robe, placed a couple band-aid thingys with metal nubs on my nipples, then steered me towards the machine. The machine. Oh my goodness I am standing in front of the machine. 

I blurted out, "Ok I am kinda freaked out this is going to hurt!" She was sweet enough to explain it's not anything near as bad as a root canal. Not helping...never had one! Then she asked if I have kids...yes is my reply and it was friggin' nearly 20 years ago! Ok, that's not good. Bam! She saw the tat on tit and said...not nearly as bad as the ink. Now I am starting to relax a bit. She grabs boob number one and maneuvers me into place then the vise descends. Holy crap! Here it comes...squished split grapes...no...I'm not ready. The machine stops, she turns a little dial, and tells me to hold my breath for a few seconds. Ok, I either have a high tolerance for discomfort or she didn't mash me hard enough. Three images for each girl and I am done. That wasn't bad at all. I think I'll do it again next year. As a matter of fact I know I will. Why? During mammopoluza at Broward Health you get gifts! 

Grandma's chocolate chip cookies (nom nom nom), a guide to self breast exam (ok whatever), a lipstick pen (cute), and the sweetest little Vera Bradley coin purse that I immediately put to use. On the flip side of the coin purse there is an ID window so I stuffed my work badge in there...no you can't see it! On the key ring I fastened the key to my file cabinet and the blue tassel I got as a marketing gimmick a year or two ago. I like the color so I kept it. 

A short waisted woman and yoga pants...

Third yoga class tonight. This evening was the warm yin yoga of stretching so it was very low impact. Unlike the ass kicking I got last Saturday with power yoga, I need this type of class to regain flexibility and range of motion. It was a good night. I wasn't bored as much as the first time and a friend of mine gave me a powerful tool to help concentrate on my breathing. He said that sometimes our minds just want an answer for what we command it to think. I was telling my self to breathe but I wasn't answering the command. So I said in my mind, "breathe in...I am breathing in...breathe out...I am breathing out." Oddly, it worked. For most of the evening. At one point some douche bag started their car and the headlights penetrated the dark glass, curtains, and my eyelids to burn an image directly onto my retinas. Like the after affect of the flash on a camera? Yeah. That frustrated me a little. Shortly after that the trainer for the boot camp next door opened the door, stood there chatting with a few people, then proceeded to walk through our session like we were inanimate blobs of flesh laying on the floor. I kinda lost focus at that point and it was difficult to get it back. 

This now brings us to Ethel and the reason I felt compelled to blog tonight.

Ethel is that roll of blubber that sits above my navel. Ethel likes to hang out OVER the button of my jeans on average days. Ethel is the demon that wants cookies, cake, and fettuccine alfredo with garlic rolls. I do an okay job of concealing Ethel on most occasions but when I am wearing yoga pants...she's positively possessed. I am short waisted. This means that when most women wear low rise jeans they rest nicely on their hips. When I wear low rise jeans, it rides right at my waist line. When the yoga pants go on I have to pull them up higher because otherwise I will have that too-long-in-the-stride bridge of fabric spanning the divide of my thighs. It's not an attractive fashion statement nor is it comfortable. This means that I am now wearing my yoga pants above my navel because these effing pants are made for normal shaped women. Whatever. I have a long shirt on over it. As soon as I sat on the floor in the butterfly I could hear Ethel moaning and groaning, straining to be freed from her confines of yoga pants. I leaned forward a little and felt the pants roll slightly. The more I moved the more Ethel strained against the cloth. The more Ethel strained to be free the more my pants rolled down over my belly. The momentum Ethel gathered forced my yoga pants to roll down past my navel slightly to sit precariously on my kangaroo pouch. This meant that as soon as I stood up both Ethel and the kangaroo pouch would be revealed. Uh uh uh Ethel...I remember my lesson from the first class. I wore a longer shirt!

I never knew to give Ethel a name until I heard Wanda Sykes talk about her first experience with Spanx a few years ago. She calls her blubber Esther Roll and fights her demands for cheesecake and alcohol. . 

One last thing. I know some of you, my faithful readers, have told me you left comments on my blog posts. For some reason I never see these. Not sure if it was in my settings but I made some adjustments. Since I share on Facebook...go ahead and leave comments there too. I want to know your thoughts...good and bad.

Carrot cake...SHUT UP ETHEL!

I hate rushing, the chatterbox, and lessons learned.

Last night was my first time in years doing yoga. It was warm yin yoga. There were only five people in the studio total including the instructor. I was the last to arrive because the fancy little boy that checked me in and took my Groupon failed to give me instructions that the yoga studio was next door to the fitness center. I was all harried running in and trying to unroll my brand spanking new yoga mat and arrange myself on the floor without calling attention. Too late. It was kind of like running into class after your professor has started the lecture and dropping all your books on the way to the closest seat you can find which happens to be in the middle of the class. Anyway, I try to listen to the instructor but she has music on so can't hear anything but the Charlie Brown teacher voice. This means I have to take the cue from the lady in front of me on what to do next and I think she was a beginner. 

Remember it's been about 20 years since I've attended a yoga class. And even then it was at the Y so not even really sure it was yoga. The first thing I was to learn was belly breathing. At least that's what I think she called it. I also heard something about ocean breaths or echo something. Whatever...breath in through your nose really deep and exhale through your mouth. It may have been the reverse but breathing either way was good. This deep breathing is supposed to help us relax and open up our channels. We started off laying on our backs and breathing and relaxing so we can move on to stretches. As I am trying to focus on the breathing my brain kept interrupting. I swear it would not shut up! I am thinking.."breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Make the belly rise and lower. Feel the diaphragm working. Your left ankle isn't relaxed. Back hurts a little lying on the floor like this. Let your shoulder relax. Is my shirt pulled over my belly? Right leg just stiffened up a little. Breath dammit. I need to take out the pony tail, it's making my neck tweak laying here on the floor. Stop crinkling your brow. What the hell are you doing? Smells like patchouli in here. Belly rise. At least it doesn't smell like feet. Belly fall. I don't get the echo-ocean thing. How much longer do I have to lay like this? I'm not comfortable. Stop picking your thumb nail. Maybe it's the kinda hissing sound you make when you exhale that deep. Oh wait. I think I am supposed to be breathing in through the mouth and exhaling through the nose. Nope. That's not it. Now I have a loose booger. Flapping...."  

Finally we move into holding the stretches. We are sitting up with legs apart and I am stretching over my right knee. My brain is still chattering away..."Breath in. Breath out. Relax the knee. Ouch this hurts. Breath. Ouch. Let the thigh relax now. No. Don't point your toe. This isn't ballet. I thought it was supposed to be warm in here. I hope I don't fart. Oh my gosh...it feels like I need to fart. Clench up. That was a great line in the Avengers movie. How much longer do I have to do this? It's really pulling the ligaments inner thigh. I think that's the point. Ok. Oh. Finally. We get to move..." After an hour and 15 minutes of stretching and breathing and thinking about everything under the sun I wasn't very relaxed. I did feel longer. Does that count?

Two things I learned from one yoga lesson: Do not wear a wire bra. Wear a longer shirt. 

Guess who is going shopping again?! I am scheduled for another yoga class on Saturday morning. 

Namaste. 

Fart, fart, baby....dun dun dun dun dun dun dun...fart, fart, baby...

Always trying to motivate myself to eat right and exercise. The eating right isn't too difficult as long as I avoid flour, sugar, pasta, bread, rice, noodles, and basically follow the "if it's white, don't bite" philosophy. So add no potato, potato chips, french fries, or loaded baked potatoes. I can feel the bloat just watching all that good comfort food pass through my mind. Oh, how I love fettuccine alfredo, bread with butter, and cake. Now, I am not a crazy anti-carb freak but I know how it makes me feel so I avoid it as much as I can. As long as I can control the inner cookie monster most days are good. I challenged myself with keeping my calories under 1200 a day. So far it's not to hard if I stick to veggies, fruit, and lean meats. One other thing I had challenged myself with deals with portion control. I try to eat only half of what I take at dinner time. sometimes I serve myself on a small dessert plate. It works ok. I splurged and bought a 90 day shake meal replacement thing/system and though it's tasty and great for the morning, I had a hard time sticking to the two shakes a day. There just wasn't enough calories in the day to keep me from binge eating at night when I got home. Protein shakes in the morning for breakfast has actually been a diet staple for the past year. So that was a gimme but anything more than that was a failure.  

New challenge!!!

I used to exercise a lot. I used to have the time to exercise a lot. My rants lately revolve around my lack of me time and lack of exercise. I had a membership to a huge gym. Was totally inconvenient and I hated the scene. I looked into a place called 9rounds. It's a circuit exercise joint that honestly felt like a cave where you do interval training while wearing boxing gloves. I used to exercise at a circuit place before and loved it but their hours of operation are not convenient to my current schedule. The only thing I really want to do is tone and regain lost flexibility. The added benefit of losing some inches aren't being overlooked and is obviously welcome. I love Pilates and yoga. Used to do it quite a bit. Most of the studios in the area aren't open late enough and well, again the inconvenience. I am the type of person that has to go somewhere to exercise. I am also a loner when I exercise. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want anyone to "spot" me. I just want to go in, do my thing, then leave. Ugh! I just want to find a place that has classes beginning between 7:30 and 8:00 in the evening and have the potential for decent classes on Saturdays. 

Ask and you shall receive!

I rejoined Groupon and happened across a fantastic deal for a yoga/Pilates studio in my neighborhood. Sweet! This place has hot yoga, yin yoga, pilates, ballet fusion, kick boxing fusion, spinning, zumba, and a crap load of other boot camp type classes. My challenge is to take, at the very least, two classes a week in various exercise disciplines until I reach the prepaid 20 classes. The lady that runs the studio says if I decide to stay I get some kind of discount for re-upping my membership. One step at a time, Lola. Most importantly, one day at a time. Of course you know this meant a trip to Target. I got a yoga mat and carryall to use. All zen like non-chemical and stuff. If I like it and decide to try the hot yoga I will go back to buy the towel and block. It's odd but I am kind of excited. I am looking forward to stretching my muscles and watching my fat cry in desperation to leave my body. Yeah I worry about farting in class, or worse, not being able to stifle the laugh when someone else does it. 

Holy schnikes...it's been a while...

I am in the weeds.

Two courses this term in grad school. Work. Changing my eating habits. Again. Homework, papers, and discussion boards - oh my! Work. School. Kid in college. Husband. Eating right. I need to throw in some exercise somewhere but where? Everyday it's the same thing. I get up, go to work, come home to take care of the boys, then sit up until midnight or so doing school work. 

I have very little time for self indulgences therefore the '80 ways' card game has been suspended. I have other things I'd rather focus on then looking up my childhood address on Google earth, my first crush on Facebook, or  conducting a genealogy study. I get an average of six hours sleep during school nights because, quite frankly, I want to have half a life on the weekend. It's not too much to ask, right? That I can participate in adult social activities like date night and wine drinking? Seriously. Every night of my life while school is in session is consumed with school. Throwing my day job hours Monday to Friday is just a nuisance but the size of the paycheck makes up for the inconvenience. It pays for the wine and dine when time allows. Oh! It just occurred to me it's a three day weekend! Oh yeah! Uh huh! Get to sleep in three mornings in a row! Of course that means I am downstairs for coffee by 7:30am and nose to computer looking at school stuff by 8. I dunno...that dang internal clock crap kills me sometimes. I will say this. When I am in school, I save money. I don't have time to think about items to invent for the short shopping list until it's an item I actually need. Like toothpaste or shampoo. And the long list...God forbid the AC and fridge are 13 years old. Not to mention my beloved stove. And the dryer. 

I have developed an intolerance for people that just can't act right. If you don't like me that is fine. Doesn't mean you are excused from acting right. This very pleasant woman passed through the same door today that I was attempting to enter and didn't have the courtesy to hold it open. Come on, you stupid cow. Be a decent human being and have some common courtesy to others whether you like them or not. Acting like a honey boo boo child is just plain idiocy.

You are not even a peasant in this story because I am the Queen of Everything and it's good to be Queen. 

Homemade thin crust pizza, puppy love, and wanderlust.

Hubby told me he wanted homemade thin crust pizza for dinner tonight. Yes, he had placed his order around lunch time so that I could remember to stop at Publix after work. I weeded my way through the geriatric crowd, since I ended up at the "old people" Publix, and selected items to make one pepperoni and one BBQ chicken. I will tell you I cheated and bought the pre-made crusts but the rest of the stuff was natural. Oh ok, ok...except for the BBQ chicken. That came out of a Jack Daniels bucket found in the meat section. I don't have enough time in the day to make everything from scratch no matter how much you beg. I put the pizzas together and stuck them in the oven. I noticed one of them was too close to the edge so I attempted to push it back. Mistake! I grabbed the rack instead and scorched the tip of my finger. See?

I really did burn my finger. I am missing my finger print on the spot I touched to the rack. I swear!

Yesterdays card #7 of the 80 ways card game: "Look up your first boyfriend on Facebook." What makes you think I haven't done this already...more that once? Oddly enough I had come across a student file the day before bearing the same name as this boy. My first crush and boyfriend was in the 6th grade. We will call him Davy Rey. In my 11 year old opinion he was the cutest boy EVER! He had blond hair and big blue eyes and was taller than me. We all know boys don't get their growth spurt until after the girls do and I am slightly taller than the average female. I looked him up on Facebook this morning and nothing. At least no one with a picture matching what I remember he looked like. Davy Rey will remain a young girls memory of what a first crush feels like.

Today's card #8 of the 80 ways card game: "Print a map of the world, plan your dream journey, then post on your bulletin board." Um, no. I won't print the map but I will tell you where I'd like to vacation. Places on my bucket list have changed and expended or contracted. The one place I want to see and the first place I will go when I win the lottery is Australia. I want to see the out back and travel to Tasmania. Spending a few weeks on safari and visiting the sparkling cities. This is the ultimate walkabout. Or, I could go to P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney to find Nemo.

The old neighborhood and my favorite quotes...

I took a few days off from blogging. Since I am back in school working on my Master's degree my attention has been pulled in a different direction. I am very certain the attention problems I had growing up are what children are being diagnosed with now, ADD. I hyper focus on the wrong things or simply can't focus on anything for very long. I am the "I need to study, let me read some with the TV on, did he just say that, o-m-g those are cute shoes" kind of ADD. I begin my actions with the right intention and end up on something totally unrelated in about 10 seconds tops. On a fun note, I got my new Barbie lunch bag over the weekend. It works nicely with my Barbie coffee mug I use at work. The mug says, "I am not designed to do housework." Perfectly me!

The card I pulled on Friday the 3rd (day 5 or the 80 ways card game) reads, "Look up your childhood home on Google Earth." Well that's a hec of a challenge. Not. My thoughts went immediately to the first home we spent more than a couple years in. Remember, I am an Army brat. We moved from post to post every two to three years. It wasn't until we got to Florida that we finally settled in to a home and routine. I only had my brother for friendship until I was eight. Poor kid. So the first house we grew up in we lived in for 5 years. I looked it up on Google Earth as asked and, well, yeah it was the house. The only notable thing was that there were trees in the front and back yard that were not there in 1980. The surrounding homes appeared to need a good watering of the lawn. I guess the economic status of the neighborhood remained in the lower bracket since it seemed no one has figured out the lawn is not for parking. I will venture to say there were some great memories growing up there. This is the house I made race tracks for my matchbox cars and played "kill the man" with the neighborhood boys. There were also some horrible memories that have only been discussed in therapy. I guess good and bad comes from all life long experiences.

The second home we spent many years in happens to be the home Mom still resides. It is more home to me than anywhere else. More happier memories there than the previous address. When I found out we were moving I was excited mostly. The saddest part of it was leaving my friends behind. The great thing was we were only moving 10 miles away!

Life on the beach was much different than life in the hood. Some of the kids I later grew up with were privileged and spoiled. There was a smaller group, the ones I was able to connect with, that were raised a bit differently than the kids of lawyers and other high demand business professionals. Many experiences I look back at fondly. Re-run was my first BFF beach side then Wendall became my bestie soon after (not really their names...protecting the innocent...pssh LOL). Blondie was always around since middle school though she remained on the mainland. Red was always fun to hang with. Wow we got in some crazy trouble but always had great times together. Accept of course when we were having our knock down drag out teenage drama fights over who knows what. C'mon! the only things that mattered to me back then was being tan, riding my pink beach cruiser, and boys. Not always in that order. Boys usually came first. 

Card 6 of the 80 ways card game I drew this morning. This one reads, "Start a journal of quotes that inspire you." Um, I have a list on Facebook. Does that count? Sheesh! I post quotes or sayings that inspire me all the time. Well, inspire me to laugh mostly. My favorite quote of all time is, "Well-behaved women seldom make history." The quote is sometimes credited to Marilyn Monroe (I think she is credited with the quote using the word Rarely instead of Seldom-she must have been a reader) but is actually the title of a book by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. The works covered the silent obscurity of women from colonial times. Ulrich was an early American history professor at Harvard supposedly.

On that note, piss off! And I will not be censored!

Genealogy...a study of fornication.

Day 4 of the 80 ways card game: Search on the Internet for a bit of information about your family history - the town your grandmother was born in, or the bar your grandfather told stories about. How about none of the above? I already know this!


My father, when he was living, had traced our lineage back to the religious wars in France in the 1500's. His most recent ancestry findings were of distant family in Sicily. Dad was always interested to find a familial connection. Our last name is not common in the Latino universe so chances we were related to others with the same name were pretty high. When he traveled to new cities he would pull out the phone book and look up our name then call the number. We have found many distant cousins this way. This is what I know of my father's blood lines...

Dad claims we are of royal blood. Not sure how close we were tied to the French monarchy but he stated on occasion I was a Duchess. There was talk we came by way of Anna of Brittany, daughter of Francis II the Duke of Brittany and Margaret of Foix. Couldn't tell you how we are connected but it's still fun to think I may be royalty and my Queen Bitch mentality and attitude are completely normal. The Italian influenced family left France during the religious wars. We are Roman Catholic which was frowned upon. Migrated through Italy until we ended up on Sicily were the family flourished. My great grandfather took his family to Puerto Rico to run sugar cane and the family I know remains there. Some family came to the U.S. ending up in California or New York, some New Jersey. I have uncles, a couple aunts, and some cousins but have lost touch over the years. Dad was the youngest of seven children and really the mortar of the Orlandi clan. Since his death nearly ten years ago we have all faded into our respective lives.


Mom is from Vietnam and born during the French occupation. Yes, her daddy was a French Army Captain. We call him Cooper since we know nothing about this man. No amount of searching and digging have we been able to locate even a tidbit about him. Apparently, Cooper had fair skin and red hair. To look at my mother you would think she was more European than Vietnamese. She still speaks her language fluently and cooks like a Vietnamese angel but she looks Franco. I have inherited those European traits from her, having reddish tones in my hair and fair skin that burns and freckles. Yes, I can eventually tan but then the freckles just get darker or multiply. Mom has recently told me that there is even a little Chinese in us. OMG! Can you say, "mutt?"


So there you have it. Today's card just made me reflect a little on my heritage. My first reaction was to smile when I read the card. Why you ask? I get to stay in and drink wine for dinner!


The Duchess Margaret, signing off.

Amazon to the rescue and fairy tales...

Day 3 of the 80 ways card game: Go to a book store or library and find a book that you loved when you were younger, then read it again. Game on!


When I read my card for the day I thought, "What's up with having to go somewhere or buy something for these dang cards?" It's not that I am opposed to spending a few dollars or getting out of the house but honestly? I don't have the energy or the inclination to do this after work. I've been in the office all day, lately so bored out of my mind it's excruciating, and the last thing I want to do is have to go to the book store to read my favorite childhood book. The library closes before dinner time so that wasn't going to happen tonight. If I had pulled the card over the weekend, maybe. I wasn't that lucky today. I just wanted to go home and have a glass of wine. Ok, two glasses of wine. So?

My childhood reading was advanced. Hemingway, Dickens, and Steinbeck paperbacks were dog-eared and grimy crowded down at the bottom of my book bag but one of my favorite childhood stories was Charlotte's Web. I will be damned if I was going to drive all the way out to Barnes and Noble to sit and read the entire book there. At least that's what I interpret the card to say. I surely didn't want to buy it...I think I have a copy laying around somewhere. Maybe whoever wrote these daggum cards thought of stories like Goodnight Moon or Everybody Poops, something that can be read in a few minutes. I instead took a short break at work and used company resources to look on Amazon for a kindle version of my next favorite, Grimm's Fairy Tales. Ta-da! I found a free one! I one-clicked that effin book in the blink of an eye. 


When I arrived home I prepped dinner, stuck it in the oven, and logged in to class. Back to school time homies and I have a Master's degree to get over with yesterday. Ugh! The reading for these classes are going to be the death of me. I posted my introductions and had dinner on the couch with my guys. When the boys wandered off to their respective caves (as is routine) I grabbed up my iPad and touched the Kindle app...poof! Grimm's Fairy Tales downloaded and ready to open. I looked at the list of stories and immediately my eyes fell on Briar Rose. I have fond memories of my hard cover copy of Grimm's when I was a little girl reading every-single-story over the summer before 3rd grade. The book was heavy and had a very plain red leather spine with gold embossed letters and pages edged in gold. My father had gotten me that book and I cherished it for many years. 


Back to Briar Rose. What a stupid, stupid story! I guess when I was little it had meaning. What meaning I won't even venture to guess. Little girl idealism maybe. Now that I've reread it, it's just a tale about a king and queen that didn't quite understand etiquette or the consequences of pissing off a thirteenth fairy. Good grief! Here's what it boils down to...the pissed off fairy wanted the beautiful princess dead, the twelfth fairy circumvented the curse, and the entire kingdom fell asleep for 100 years because the princess was nosy and went somewhere she shouldn't have gone on her 15th birthday. Yeah, yeah. A handsome prince came along to rescue her but luckily it was on the 100th day of the curse. WTH?!


I'm still shaking my head. Gimme my glass will ya?

Constipated contemplation...

Day 2 of the 80 ways card game..."Buy one of your favorite things from childhood on Ebay."

Ugh! I hate eBay! I compromised and shopped my favorite online vendors at Amazon instead. I am sure I could have found something suitable on eBay but then I would have to explain the game to Hubby so I could use his PayPal for easier check out. As it was, I spent all day trying to figure out what to buy. 

I grew up in a time where we spent all our free time outside. We ran around barefoot and dirty and didn't come home until the street lights came on. I had few things that I absolutely loved enough to want to spend money on as an adult. I loved Play-do, but I already own some. Yes...it's a can of hot pink Play-do sitting on my desk at work to which I knead and roll and shape when I am stressed or on the phone. I also have a can of flarp. When you pull out the goo and try to push it back into the can it makes an obnoxious farting noise. It's my favorite toy ever! Fart noises make me laugh. It's a sickness.

I was a girl with two sides growing up. I loved my barbies and playing dress up. I liked to be clean and wear pretty shoes and lip gloss. I also liked to run around barefoot playing "kill the man" with the neighborhood boys. I would make matchbox car cities in Mom's garden to race my black '67 Corvette. I drank water from the garden hose on a hot day and it was the best tasting water ever. I've clothes-lined myself on the clothes line while running from whoever was "it." I will say in my clean girly world my barbies were great company. I had the dream house, jet, Corvette, and so much clothes in her wardrobe I could have clothed a 10 dozen Barbies. I didn't have a Ken doll because my Bubba's GI Joe was a great stand in. He was a hec of a lot more manly then that pansy Ken anyway. Ascots...why did they make Ken wear an ascot?

When it occurred to me it was a Barbie I would buy I took a moment to decide if I was going to actually buy a Barbie or something Barbie related. Barbie related! I bought....drum roll please....a Barbie lunch box! Hey, practicality wins out but I will be the only grown woman at work carrying a Barbie lunch box now won't I?

C'mon Barbie! Let's go party!

Day one experience of the 80 ways card game...

I daydreamed all day about buying new slippers for the night's fun...doing dishes by candle light while listening to music, wearing comfy slippers, and dancing. There was even a moment in my day when I used company resources to browse the Target website. There were some super cute slippers and the ones I would have considered were Hello Kitty. As I was driving home I realized I actually had a pair of Hello Kitty slipper socks received as a Valentine gift. Bonus! No extra trips or delays to dance and do dishes. I know, I know. That is a warped idea of fun but I am really serious about going 80 days here gang.

When leaving work each day I phone Hubby to check in and hash out any schedule changes. Tonight Hubby had plans to reheat some left overs from this weekend's BBQ. Actually his words were, "You'll be home soon. I will wait for you." I insisted he could go ahead and start with out me since I would be home shortly. He of course insisted on waiting. Now my female mind instantly went into overdrive and thought, "Huh! That butthead is going to wait for me to get home to heat the food and serve him." That's why he was so insistent on waiting for me to get home. I got home and was pleasantly surprised. Hubby began reheating the food all on his own. Pleasantly surprising the woman in your life is always a good thing fellas. Remember that.

Dinner is done and the guys have gone to their respective caves. Hubby has school work and the boy is enjoying whatever raunchy comedy show on his own TV. There are only a few dishes but enough to accomplish my Day One card task. I slipped on my Hello Kitty slipper socks, lit my spicy PartyLite candle, turned off all the lights save the TV and the light over the stove, and plugged in my headphones. I haven't listened to my music in a long time. Not sure why but I don't' typically have the occasion to I guess. But I chose Blue October and immediately started bopping around by the sink and began the dishes by candle light. And I had fun! I was alone in my own music bubble listening to the raw new age tunes and dancing. Shaking my groove thing, yeah! Yeah!

Ok, I want to catch up on my food shows. I can hardly wait to see what fun tomorrow's card will bring!

Enjoying the world in 80 days...or something like that.

I love to shop. I love to get great deals. I love to shop where I can get great deals. My favorite place to part with money is at Macy's. Sometimes though, I am actually shopping for a short list item that would cost more at Macy's than I am willing to spend. Bed sheets are one of those items. When those types of items end up on my short list I usually spend some time shopping in Marshall's, TJ Max, Ross or Home Goods. 


While hunting for sheets at Marshall's yesterday I took a moment to wander down the discount aisle.  Among the broken frames and open boxes of stationary I found a small box filled with 80 "idea cards." Upon closer inspection and reading the caption on one of the cards I figured I could use a little fun in my day. A focal point to be accomplished by days end. It's not that I don't have enough to do in a day since work is pretty focused and home life is pretty chaotic at times but I've been feeling a bit lost lately. Not necessarily my identity because those who know me well are very aware of my identity. Amzie posted a picture of a 40's pinup holding a placard...."Not your Bitch." Her caption was, "I may be A bitch, but I am certainly not YOUR bitch." Perfect caption as far as I am concerned.


So back to being lost. I have lost my verve. My zest. My cachow. I be, and hope, the 80 ways to create great experiences is my new card game.


My card today reads, "When it's time to do dishes, turn the lights down, light a candle, put on my comfiest slippers and play my favorite music." Yay! I get to go out and buy slippers!


Oh, by the way, I found the bed sheets at Home Goods.

I found my lost shaker in Key West

About a month ago we booked a trip to Key West to hang with Petal and her BFF. Petal decided to head back home earlier last month so Hubby and I were left to our own devices in the Conch Republic. It is typical that we make two trips a year to the colorful likes of the Florida Keys and this trip was timed about right.

I woke up at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday and just decided to get ready to go. We packed up the car and headed out to run a couple errands in town before hitting the road. At our first stop, and after only 7 minutes in the car, I wanted to murder my darling husband. Long story short he wanted to cash a check (earned from handyman duty) for mad money and the lobby was closed. I am still mystified over why he wanted to cash it instead of deposit but he fussed and I got agitated because I could not understand his insistence. When he relented to my logic I couldn't find a pen. He didn't even want to stop the car for a minute to give me the opportunity to look through my handbag thoroughly. Sooooo...we moved on to our next stop. Coffee. Dunkin Donuts coffee thankfully rescued us from a mental meltdown of catastrophic proportions. The "dough-nads," as Hubby affectionately termed the Munchkins, were ordered to his specifications. Hubby hates the jellies and I love them but he won't even consider that when deciding which dough-nads to get. He typically will specifically state, "No jelly please." This time he didn't. I thought he was being nice and would allow the surprise of mistakenly biting into a jelly because he felt bad for the whole cash the check and pen fiasco that occurred only a few moments before. Yeah right. We got our delicious coffee and dough-nads, amazingly with no jellies in the box to his relief, and headed to the turnpike. Then I remembered where I stashed a pen. Since he was now drinking coffee the fog obviously lifted. He decided to go to the next branch of our bank to deposit the check and pull out the cash. Duh! It's what I suggested to begin with but thought it better to just let him believe it was all his idea. 

Now we are on the road! The trip was uneventful and it came time to stop for the potty and lunch. When we arrived to Islamorada I began our trip theme. Didnt' intend to have a theme for the weekend but ended up with one by way of Jimmy Buffet on the CD player. The lost shaker chapter begins.

We hit one of our favorite places in Marathon - The Keys Fishery of Marathon. If you didn't know this place was there you would miss it easily. The restaurant is located on the docks and is open air dining. They are known most for their lobster rueben which is typically very yummy. This trip proved to be disappointing. They changed the bread, which I normally liked. It's now served on toasted slices of french bread. The rueben I got seemed to have been prepared 30 minutes earlier by mistake then reheated and given to me. The cheese was rubber, the sauce was dried up and the bread was stale. To top it off the lobster was full of shells. Yuck! The fries with malt vinegar was the best part of that meal. Hubby wasn't all that impressed by his usual order this time either. The seasoning was over powering and just didn't do it for him. We are heading back in October and think we'll skip this stop on the way in and opt for something new. After a stop at Publix for ice, beer, and cheap wine we hit the road again.

On to Key West! We made it to the island and stopped at the welcome center to pick up some brochures for a buddy at work. We drove past the building then around the building twice for Hubby to park two buildings away...for me to go in the welcome center alone. Nice of you to just drop me at the door buddy. What was with all the circling to park the car if you weren't going in with me? LOL!

Not sure how it happens but we occasionally book our trip to Key West to inadvertently fall on some kind of celebration. This weekend happened to be the ending to Hemingway Days. Its fun to see all the look-a-likes in and out of bars dressed in Hemingway inspired running of the bull outfits. Many of the old men I've seen before and may possibly be locals. fun imes!

Duval was blocked off so we had to find a different way up to our hotel, The Crowne Plaza La Concha..easy enough. Check in was easy and quick. Service at all points was exemplary. The room was small but updated, modern, and most importantly, clean. Depending on the person, you may judge this gripe to be either minor or major, to me it was just a nuisance...the toilet didn't flush most times unless you held the handle down. That's all. Otherwise the location is perfect in relation to participating in a self guided Duval Krawl. There is a rooftop bar with a fantastic view of the island, sunset, and sunrise. The swimming pool was very small but we didn't bother, opting instead for cooling down by way of cold refreshing beer. 

Our very first adult beverage came by way of Fat Tuesday slushies. I always get a mixture of the blue one and pina colada. They change the name of the blue one occasionally so I never remember it...just order my drink as the blue one mixed with pina colada. The slushie jerk seems to understand fine...but no shaker here. Hubby gets something called the 44 Magnum. One sip of his and you can light your breath. Seriously strong shit. It was so hot on Saturday the slushies went down fast. We shopped a few of the trade booths and Hubby was having a fit he was so hot so ended up back in the room for a short while to cool him off. While we were chilling out we had a beer from the cooler.

Back out on Duval we walked down to Cap't Tony's. Very popular bar with bras hanging from the ceiling, business cards from all around the world papering the walls, and a live one man band. There is a live tree growing right up through the center of the bar and is supposedly known as the hanging tree. The bar itself was the morgue. Convenient. We didn't find the lost shaker here but the beer was cold. 

Next stop was Red Fish Blue Fish. Nice laid back bar and restaurant. Nothing pretentious and Matt the bar tender was charming. We ordered more beer and began the tipsy. My lost shaker wasn't here but we did get a lead for an Italian place that is a local's best kept secret. The fun part was that I ordered draft Key West Sunset Ale...apparently Matt had Corona light on the brain and brought me that. I drank it. I was excited to see I got produce with my beer (wedge of lime) but it didn't occur to me it was a differnet beef then I ordered. When we ordered a second round he asked if I wanted another Corona light and I said, "No honey. I was drinking Sunset." To which he replied, "Oh shit. My bad! I gave you Corona light." Though I was not anywhere near upset, I was tipsy and happy, he paid for my first beer. On a side note, we went back the next day to tank Matt for the lead on the Italian place but he wasn't there. Ty, though, is a stand up comic. Worth stopping in to say hello to him as well.

At some point, and in our tipsy stupor, we stopped in the Wyland gallery. Hubby has this really bad habit of talking to sales people making it seem like he's truly interested in their product. Then leaves. We sat and talked to this guy so long I know he thought he had the $2,000 sale in the bag. Yes, the art was beautifully crafted and original, but I need at least that much for a new couch. Hubby's habit is going to get us in trouble one day. Big time trouble.

So this Italian place is called Mangia Mangia and is know for their fresh made pasta. It's quaint, tidy, and the food was out of this world fantastic! I always judge an Italian place by how well they make Alfredo so I ordered the spinach fettuccine Alfredo with crab. It was orgasmic! The pasta was perfectly al dente and the sauce was rich and creamy. There was so much blue crab on this pasta dish it was incredible. Hubby ordered a di Mare dish that had chunks of fish, scallops, muscles, shrimp, and conch. It was served over pasta with some kind of herbed clam sauce and tossed with peas. Wow! Both dishes were hearty and totally satisfied my fat kid comfort food tummy. The only thing missing was my lost shaker.

We found our way back to our room and showered the days grime off then crashed. It was a great day in Key West!

The next morning Hubby attempted to get sunrise pictures from the roof top but it was storming. He opted instead for a Starbucks coffee (which he hates) and the iPad to catch up on some homework. Since he was gone when I finally woke up I went ahead and started getting ready for the day out. I called him down to the room and presented my written Starbucks order. There is just no way he would ever remember "venti quad shot caramel macchiato with whip." He returned with my coffee about the time I was ready to go and there was a little heated debate about car no car for the day. It was terribly crappy our with the rain and I wasn't in the mood to travel by foot in the rain even with an umbrella. He relented and we got down to the valet...the driveway was flooded and there was only one person running cars with three patrons waiting ahead of us. So  I said F it, we can walk. 

On our last trip down with the girls, we came across this really neat looking place in Bahama Village called Blue Heaven. Heard great things about this place but they only had one table for diners with dogs and a couple was just seated there with their dog. Hubby hates to wait when it's meal time.

Anywho...I did some reviews of the place and decided it was best to visit Blue Heaven for breakfast and to order their morning specialties, Bloody Goose and Lobster Egg's Benedict. Eggs Benny is one of those items, like the Alfredo at Italian places, I must try at all breakfast establishments. Boy was I disappointed. Even worse no lost shaker. The english muffin was tough, the lobster was luke warm with some shells, and the eggs were over cooked. There was not nearly enough hollandaise to make up for it and there was nothing to accompany the $21 Benny's but a thin sliver of melon and pineapple. Hubby had pineapple pancakes which were light and fluffy but again...no accompaniments. We also read they are famous for their Key Lime Pie. When it came around the corner Hubby exclaimed, "That's a big slice!" So I was hopping for something wonderful. It was more sweet than tart, not classic key lime pie, and was covered in four inches of meringue. Hubby was totally not impressed with that and quite frankly Publix makes a much better key lime pie. So the bonus to this trip was the little Blue Heaven gift shop. I found my lost shaker!!!

So lost shaker traveled with us the rest of the day. We went back to the hotel after breakfast for a breather then hit Jack's bar in the lobby. Silly me forgot that "well" drinks meant liquor of unknown origins so opted for beer. Though I swear I've been to bars were the well vodka was at least Smirnoff or Skkye. Oh well.

We headed downtown again for my Key West Kino's. Its a tradition for me to stop at least once a year to pick up a few pair of the most simple and well made leather sandals. I've done this since I was 20 something and don't plan on letting up. Yeah, I know I can buy them online now but it's just not the same. So we stopped in and I got some for me, a pair for Mom, and a pair for 'lil sis Amzie for stopping in and checking on the Punk. Didn't want him pulling a Joel Goodsen while were were gone. 

After the sandal factory we went to Red Fish Blue Fish again but like I mentioned before, Matt was not there and Ty took center stage. We had a couple beers there then walked over to do some shopping on Malory Square. Oh yeah...got the best conch fritters ever at the stand by the aquarium. This is a new tradition for every trip. 

Made it to the top for our second drink at the hotel. We got rum and cokes since well rum isn't too hard on the gut. By then I had enough to drink. Hubby was even curling his lip at this drink but when in Rome, right? We watched a magnificent sunset and talked about our dinner plans. Hubby took some pictures of me and my fat arm and double chin. How is it he manages to capture every bad side on my body? For crying out loud man! I have a cleavage! And pretty eyes!

For several years a friend of mine had talked about making sure we visit 7 Fish for dinner. It's a small deep in the neighborhood place with only 13 tables. Yes, we needed a reservation. Lola made a reservation for 9pm. Because you know, what Lola wants, Lola gets. The banana chicken came highly recommended but opted for something off the specials list. Grouper with a mango chutney served over angel hair. It was good but I am still thinking about the pasta we had the night before. Hubby ordered fish in a curry sauce over sticky rice. I like the flavor in his better but he wasn't entirely enthused by it either. The place was quaint. service was very friendly except for the damn bar tender that blocked the door from anyone entering, in deep discussion with another employee, while it was pouring rain. I sweetly said excuse me and shuffled by but he didn't seem to like that too much. Whateva! Bite me, bitch.

Stopped at a Hagen Daz for a scoop of $6 ice cream and headed back to our room for the night.

Our last morning on the island we opted to try another new breakfast place called Pepe's. Cute run down shack by the marina with a simple menu that is reasonably priced. I got eggs benny again. These were MUCH better than the disappointment at Blue Heaven. Hubby though has a complaint...they didn't use fresh mushrooms in his omelet. Yes, he is an omelet connoisseur making his own everyday with whatever is in the fridge. Always with FRESH mushrooms. His omelet fixation is a whole blog on it's own. Someday I will explain this mans obsession with omelets.

We headed home after breakfast and stopped at a few places on the way. I got another pair of casual flip flops at the sandal outlet and a couple small pieces of original art at the Wind Chime Shops - you know, the place with the huge lobster in front. They day nearly went really bad when the car almost ran out of gas. Rather than keep an eye on the gauge he just waited for it to buck and shudder on it's final gasps on fumes as we rolled into the shell station somewhere in west Miami. 

Well, I have nattered on and ranted long enough about our trip. For the curious few, lost shaker has found a home on my desk at work helping me remember, to not let the negative vibes ever get me down.

Peace.

When rumors become reality. And a blurb about house guests.

Rumors have a way of evolving when it's passed from one ear to the next. It's like the game "telephone." The lead person whispers in the ear of the person next to her then that person whispers what's told to the next and so on. At some point the information gets mixed up or retold backwards or completely incorrect. The last person that hears the whisper typically gets a fraction of the original whisper. It's actually a fun game...an ice breaker. Not the case when rumors start at work that involve layoffs or some kind of reorganization. The truth gets muddled and becomes gnarly this three headed beast. For the past several months rumors at work have been circulating about layoffs. Everyone speculated about who and what departments and when the ax will drop. Well it dropped today. We had a layoff of 200 people. It was mixed between two departments and management was included in this round. Of the three or four minimizing stints in the past year I felt this one most. 


Why? Petal is gone. These dbags took my Petal! Now, we've always talked about contingency plans and how it would go down. I never thought it would happen this soon. Petal is taking off for home by months end. I totally understand why. There really isn't a tie to this area of the continent and home has been calling to her for some time. We will gorge ourselves on brunch buffet one last time before you hit the road, my friend. Eggs Benedict will have no shelter that day. 


OMG! You're leaving in just two weeks!!! I do not want to say, "Fare-thee-well!" It will be more like, "Until we meet again." Either way, this sucks balls. Yes. Balls.


What is it one of our presidents once said about house guests? Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Thank goodness they are only here one night! I'll have to say this new guest is great at sparing and he really brings something to the conversation. I am just happy this time I was not presented with yard sale items for trade of my garden or house hold knick knacks. It's like he's at a swap meet at my house...where he seriously feels it's ok to swap his stuff for my stuff. The giving of the shoes belonging to our dearly departed LJ were the icing on the cake last visit. But Petal? She can come down and visit any time for as long as she wants. I know the water and the Q will call you back for a spell soon enough.


I'm sad to lose Petal but am happy she is finally free to take a new path. 

Just some nattering about nothing...

It was a relatively busy day at work today but this time of year is slow and I must remember to pace myself. If I don't pace myself the Monday hustle turns into the most excruciating boredom by Thursday. I try to hold back every week but Friday becomes a wasted day of me trying to keep myself under the radar. I am never successful. My back is to the aisle and I have no peripheral so my boss man is able to sneak up on me while I am reading a fashion article on Yahoo or just simply spacing out looking through the big plate glass window. Today I was using company resources (our internal communicator/Instant Messenger powered by AIM) to chatter with a work-mate about the movie Prometheus. I had a question about something that required a detailed explanation. Told him we could take a break and a second or two later I felt a presence behind me. I turned around giggling because I thought Haley decided to come over right then to tell me what I wanted to know...nope. As I was turning around giggling I said, "Well Haley, you didn't have to come right over." And boss man says, "Uh, yes I did. And Haley is much taller and better looking than me." OOPS! Busted again.


Making some Goulash for dinner. I have sampled some to test the flavors and I must say it is pretty darn yummy. Pat myself on the back for a job well done. It's one of the ultimate comfort foods. Not that I need comfort for anything right now. I was in the mood to cook and I wanted to make something that would last a couple days. I don't know what it is but every time I make Goulash it not only tastes different but it grows in quantity. Tonight I made enough for two army's. Bruce will get some for lunch tomorrow. He fed me some broccoli salad today. It had red onions and raisins in some white wine slaw sauce. It was very good...and about an hour later I was building up some gassy fumes. Yes, Mr. Padron. Girls fart too. I could hardly wait to get to my car after work to release the beast from my buttocks.


I bought these 24oz Tervis Tumblers yesterday. One is a pink and brown cheetah print and the other is of sweet pink butterflies. They come with a coordinating topper to keep the fluids from spilling. The boy got a Miami Dolphins one. The great thing about these tumblers is they have a lifetime warranty against leaking. I've owned these types of tumblers before and slowly lost them moving from one place to another.  Oh well. The tumbler keeps my drink ice cold for a long while so I will hold on to these for a spell.


So our short trip to Key West is set for next month. Booked a suite at La Concha. Never stayed there before and figured this time of year is the cheapest to go so what the hell. It's only money and we can't take it with us. I've always wanted to stay right on Duval in the heart of the action. I don't intend to puss out of the crawl this year but now at least I know if I do I don't have far to walk to a bed. Petal and her BFF are going to be in Key West the same weekend. This is going to be a fun weekend! Can't hardly wait to shop and eat and drink and walk and sweat and...eww sweat. Dang it's going to be scorching hot down there. Well, thankfully there will be a poolside bar. 


I'm off to get a second helping of Goulash. This shit is good.

Dreams, shopping, and dining out...

For me, dreams are our minds way of processing data that we have gained during the day. It is my minds way of interpreting things that I didn't pick up in a wakeful state or things that bother me and I don't know how to deal. The past few nights I have been dreaming about dogs. Dogs in dreams symbolize intuition, loyalty, happiness, protection, and fidelity. One interpreter on the net says to use the words associated with the dog to help you understand what your dream is trying to tell you. Part of last nights dream featured one of my own dogs. Sunshine turned up next to me for a dose of affection but the fur on her back was sparse and the skin looked a little flaky and red. A typical presentation of allergic dermatitis. In my dream, the thing that struck me as odd was that it was Sunshine suffering this affliction and not Annie. Annie is allergic to everything and has had patches on her before that have looked like this patch on Sunshine. So what might my intuition be trying to tell me I wonder? One conversation during the day that may be related had to deal with diet and my eating habits. I lost a great deal of weight last year and have slowly put about 20 pounds back on. I have reverted to old eating habits and want to embrace the newly learned eating habits again but am too lazy. Eating right and making better choices is a lot of work. I am going to take it as my subconsciousness screaming at me to stop eating the bad stuff because it is making me look horrible like that ugly patch on Sunshine's back. I do not want to look like a yucky patch of skin.

 

  

I love shopping. I invent, in my mind, all kinds of things that I must have. Shopping has become a sport and I latch on to the thrill of going form store to store trying to find the item I have decided I cannot live with out. Be it a pair of shoes or handbag, I hunt and hunt until I find my prize. 

Things that I actually need I put on the long list. Right now I need a new toaster oven. Toaster ovens are not fun and I cannot wear it to work or out to dinner. That is why it ends up on the long list. Our fancy TV remote has been busted for about six months. Well, the remote itself works but the touch screen doesn't making it very hard for anyone but one of us to use. Forget trying to explain the where the sweet spot on the screen of the remote is to turn on the TV. I fixed this by adding a cable box to the guest room. Unfortunately my father-in-law manages to screw that one up too. LOL! I guess I better add this remote to the short list since he is coming in Wednesday, huh?

Dining out, to me, is a convenience. I get to eat great food that someone else has prepared and I don't have to clean up after. I had lunch with Lulu before our adventure at the theater. We went to see a matinee of La Cage aux Folles at the Broward Center starring George Hamilton. The show was great and the show girls made you want to get up and dance.

After some shopping at the Galleria we parted ways and I went home to the boys. It had been some time since I ate so I was hungry. I was denied my chicken wings on Friday night in for hot Italian subs at Pasquale's so I insisted we get my chicken wings last night. And we did. Service was average and the food was great! I got my chicken wings and didn't have to clean up. Bonus!

Today we are off to the mall, the movies, and Bed Bath and Beyond. I need to get a dang toaster oven. Maybe pick up a remote while we are out. Nah. I would rather buy shoes.

 

 

The ladies room, bathroom habits, annoying voices, and whatever else comes to mind tonight...

I walked into the ladies room at work today to be greeted by the smell of poop. There was obviously a lady in the restroom that has never heard the phrase, "courtesy flush." You know it is the right thing to do when using a public toilet. Right? It's mortifying enough to have to make #2 while you are at work. But isn't it more mortifying to make others aware you have to make #2 at work because you don't have the courtesy to flush away that stench? I would rather others know I am dropping a load, because I keep flushing and sparing them the opportunity to catch a whiff of last nights meal on exit, than let them take the smell on. Oh, and if you hover to pee...clean it from the seat. Otherwise this forces us to abandon the one stall rule because we don't want to wipe up someone else's piss. And if you are pooping and not a courtesy flusher that means we have to take your stench full force...or run for the hills! It is very unlikely you will catch anything form the seat of a public toilet. And if it's your own pee, why aren't you cleaning it up? Why leave it for the next lady to find?


My darling husband questions the courtesy flush and it's validity. I don't doubt it's usefulness one bit.


Here's an article about toilet seat cooties: http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/what-can-you-catch-in-restrooms?pagenumber=2


You know you are comfortable with your friends when you can talk about your bathroom habits. Petal and I end up, rather frequently, sharing stories about bathroom horrors and instances of desperation. Remember to double bag first! She claims Freud would say we were stuck in the anal phase. I think my issue began at the age of one when my mother prematurely potty trained me. Seriously. My young experience boils down to the fact if I don't have a clean working toilet behind a locked door it's not happening. No camping in the great wilderness, no deep sea fishing unless there is a working head....I probably just gave you all way too much information haven't I?


So we have all heard voices that make us cringe. There is one lady with a voice that could find you in your grave. It is nasally, whiny, and got louder when there were extraneous noises in the vicinity. The environment I work in makes it hard to avoid. I thought for a very long time that it was the worst voice ever. Though I haven't heard it in some time I think she's met her match. This other lady's voice is horrible in another way. She is fake, condescending, and just not friendly. She has an obvious Latin accent but when she turns on the "charm" it sounds more like Asian. Not sure why that is but I can't help hearing everything she says...the proximity makes it easy. 


So I am on the SLOOH Space Camera website trying to figure out where the live feed is for this humongous asteroid. The LZ1 is about 1600 feet across and the still photos make it look like a white dot with bright lines around it. Not even sure if it's the asteroid. Probably a planet. Well that was anti-climatic. 

Work rant, fourth grader palate's, Publix while hungry, and Pillsbury...

Work is work. I work to live not live to work. Most days don't normally get to me. I go in, do my job, then go home. At the end of the day we were given yet another report to manage tracking our progress with the students we make contact with. Business is slow this time of year but not typical of our department. I was brought in with 10 other newbies and we are all feeling a bit deflated. We were expecting to be so busy that our performance would be stellar to say the least. Not the case. The rant is just that I am already working in two reports to get my job done...now we have to do one more? What busy work will they invent next? A side note...a cell mate made known to my direct supervisor that she witnesses I bust my butt all day. That was nice of her but I think he already knows this. Why? I go in, do my job, go home.

My dear friend, Petal has a fourth graders palate. She loves beef-a-roni, mac n' cheese, and any other kind of fourth grader comfort food. Oh she's adventurous also but when the going gets tough she reverts. It was a long day for her today too. So she randomly announces that she is making biscuits and bacon for sammy's and will pour honey or slather strawberry jam on the rest. This is her supper tonight. I immediately began dreaming about sausage gravy and buttermilk biscuits. Guess where I stopped on the way home?

The Publix most convenient to me on the way home is the "old people" one. I have a 4 Publix within one mile of my home. We affectionately refer to them by demographic. We have "old people" Publix, "spanish land" Publix, "caribbean" Publix, and the "new one you can never find your way out of" Publix. Ok, so "old people" Publix is named as such because it neighbors the Wynmoore community of residents that are at least an average of 75 years old. I try in vain each time to get through the store with out falling victim to nattering of some sort but not typical. Anywho, as I went in search for the items I needed to make sausage gravy and biscuits I stopped in the bakery. A cake and apple cheese danish went into the cart. So this prompted the need for ice cream. Add the hot fudge. Hmmm...Frank said he wanted some frozen pizza so I ended up with about half a dozen varieties. Geez! Never shop hungry!

Pillsbury biscuits in the can are convenient and tasty. I read the directions and peel the paper off. Very, very, very gingerly. I absolutely hate the can popping in my hand. I don't know why but this absolutely wigs me out. Totally. So as soon as I finished ripping the paper off as slowly and gently as I can...POP! Dangit.

Dinner is done and I am famished!